Leaping without a place to land

Quiting = Admitting Failure.

I have never quit anything in my life with out a plan to land on. On Friday I walked a way from a no win situation. I hate my job at the firm, collections wasn’t my thing, in felt bad for some of the folks, and questioned the process to much. I still don’t think it’s right to sue an 85 year old person for $1,000.00. just because the client wants us to proceed on more accounts. In this case the beauty of the law is twisted and distorted to suit the needs of the greedy. True, there are folks who run debts up on purpose and bow out when it’s time to pay……those folks deserve to be collected on. It’s just that whole industry made me feel dirty and horrible about kicking folks when they were down.

So on Friday they brought me in to H R and gave me a line of crap. They almost made me cry, it was a warning that I was going to be fired with in the coming weeks. I went back to my cube looked around and said to myself “Bear you hate this job, you hate having to walk on egg shells and well it’s time to hand in your chips and cash out.” my supervisor was surprised when I quit, he really didn’t know what to think and eellike Kirsten was pissed that she didn’t get the glory of shouting your fired. That’s right I beat both of you to the punch.

I cried a little in the elevator mostly because I was revealed that I didn’t have to work at the firm anymore. But a little because I was scared shitless and was now caught with my big girl pants half down. My family was glad that I quit and asked me why I hadn’t quit sooner.

So now I’ve joined the hundreds of unemployed workers. I think I’ll be all right. I have faith that a job is just around the corner and that my faith will see me through.

The dating game

I’ve dusted of my shoes, put on cute outfits and have stepped back into the dating world. It’s weird going on dates when you are a divorcee. Some men assume you are looking for a quick way into marriage and single dads flock to you. I vowed never again to put a child through divorce. It was hard on Nylan and mostly it’s hard to walk away from a child you may never get to see again. I am not ruling single dads out, I am sure you are all great, it’s just I can’t do it again, the pain was to hard to bare.

I’ve met some great guys over the past couple of months, some are best left as friends and others fall to the wind. I’ve had dates filled with great conversations and others filled with awkward moments of silence. I just keep reminding myself roll the dice and move your thimble on the board. If it doesn’t turn out, you can always go back to start and roll again and again until you find go.

I was pleasantly surprised recently. I committed a girlfriend no no. But since I am not on speaking terms with this girl I thought what the hell i’ll go for it. I had to remind myself to not form an opinion based on what she had told me prior. I did this once before and my assumption was so far off, it wasn’t funny. Anyways I informed said date about this 9 degrees of separation. He said she wasn’t memorable, with that out of the way we met up for drinks that evening. I tell you some days Minneapolis is to small. I was pleasantly surprised, he wasn’t at all like she had described, he was very polite and darn right fantastic. Finally some one who is more deaf than me!

I don’t know where this is going, but I am going to keep moving my thimble across the board and play this game out. If it ends, it ends. At least I enjoyed the journey, picked up my thimble and went back to start.