Monthly Archives: August 2011

{Blogcation} Taking A Break From The Blogging World

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After much thought. It is difficult for me to announce that HaveBearWillTravel.com is going on a little vacation. Life is busy. As in I barely see the muppet busy. Yet a good type of busy that makes your heart sing because you know deep down you are making the world better.

That is my whole goal in life. To make this world a little better than when I found it. Our goal as humans should be to better mankind not destroy it. When we change one small thing, complete one-act of kindness, that is when we reach our potential. I need to concentrate on teaching amazing people like yourselves how to be the best lobbying ninjas they can be and continue to be one kick ass paralegal at the firm. Those are my priorities right now. I guess one knows they are grown when they choose real life over online life.

Thank you so much for reading about my life and for supporting me on this adventure. I realized in the past year or so that my words can change lives. Yes, I have lived through some tough shit and because of you I blogged about it. With each tap of the key board my heart slowly began to heal. My heart is full again and I am ready to take on the world. I have met some amazing people and made some new Ninja BFFS. I am always reminded that life changes without a moments notice. What it comes down to is: “What you do in that moment that sets the path for the rest of your life?”

Do you sit down and take it or do you rise up and show the world who is boss. My stroke gave me the strength to deal with losing a child and the strength I needed to walk away from a loveless marriage. To date my x husband will tell you: ” I let the best thing to ever happen to me walk out that door. She is one hell of a woman and an awesome mom. She stepped up, threw her dreams away, and became the mom she didn’t have to be to my son. “Who ever she ends up with is one hell of a lucky man.” Aww thanks x husband. I wish I could hate him. Yet, I do feel a tad bit sorry for the guy. After all his whole world crashed one sunny day in June. I finally found it with in myself to forgive him. As in forgive him for what he did and for not being there when I needed him most. That was the final piece, the piece I needed to complete in order to get me back. Once again my heart is whole and maybe one of these days I will remember to actually go on the dates I plan. For me it was easier to stand up and show the world who was boss. I am the boss of my life and no one can ever knock me down.

So just know ninjas. I am alive and well. I am knocking down doors and writing down names without question. Before you know it the blogcation will be over and I will be back with new adventures to share. Fingers crossed that my plan for a personal life works. I need one of those or at least people tell me I need a personal life. We’ll see.

Love you bunches!

-AmandaJean

{Revelation} Your Destination Is On Your Right

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I snuggled into a bed that wasn’t mine. Time Square was a blaze outside my window and I had realized something. I realized that I am exactly where I should be in life. I didn’t get what I wanted. I got what I needed.

For the past 5 years I dwelled on the fact that I had not gone to law school. That I had thrown away a dream for my ex husband and his child. I do not regret that decision. At the time it was for the best. Because my five years with Nylan will define him for the rest of his life. Nylan is a ninja and a ninja knows the course. A ninja knows to look for meaning in the hard times and to never lose faith.

Faith is something that runs deep and is never in short supply. Everything that happened over the past five years has led to this exact moment. This here and now is where I am supposed to be. My blood clot was a lesson. A lesson in survival. At the time I thought it was a cruel joke. Turns out the joke was on me. That blood clot was my voice and the fuel to my passion. I am a lobbyist. A real live lobbyist and I wouldn’t trade it for the world.

For now I am turning away from law school and following the course to becoming the best lobbyist I can be. I still get to work with the law and help people. As in really help people by meeting with politicians and sharing my passion for the common good. Walking through the capital sends chills to my soul, this is the place where history is made and I, I am a part of that history.

History is something I want to change. Our voices can lead to change and history books will be rewritten. If we stand up for ourselves and fight for what we believe in then we have reached our potential. Don’t wait for a life changing moment to find your voice. Dig deep and find your primal growl. That voice will carry you and you will be forever changed.

I am forever changed. One moment in my life defined me and that moment has brought me to my destination. A destination I am proud to call home.

The Best NINJAS Hang Out With God {Remembering Adam Lavasseur}

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Life is a journey worth taking and a dream worth dreaming. One thing I know is that today is for sure and tomorrow is uncertain. None of us know when our name with be called in heaven and when our last moment will be.

Early this morning I got word that I lost a very dear college friend. A man who was literally bigger than life. Someone so pure and kind he set your heart on fire. From the moment I met him a friendship was born and as they say the rest was history.

Adam lived three doors down from me in Ross Hall on the UW-Superior campus. We would sit in the hallway late at night just talking about life and dreaming of our futures. I could hear him cheering loudly from his room on nights the Packers were winning and even louder on the nights that the Vikings were loosing. He would walk with me to class and poke fun at my “old lady parka.” Adam was truly a gift. I am a better person because of Adam and I am thankful to call him my friend.

Part of me is angry with God. I must ask “What makes me different? You saved me, so why didn’t you step in and save Adam?” Maybe this is something I’ll never really understand. People well medical professionals tell me I should be dead and its a mystery on how I survived a massive pulmonary embolism. Losing Adam makes me realize how special life is and that it truly is a gift. We do not have control over our demise. We only have control over what we do with the time we have.

Time is something we have a lot of. Yet, we let that time run through our fingers. Putting off I love you, dates with friends, and for what? That what is work, work always gets in the way of our time. Yet work is something we need to sustain us and keep us a float. Its been a while since I’ve spent time with Adam and I’d give anything to have more time with him. Time, is something we can never get back, no matter how hard we try. We never get a do over. So use your time wisely and spread as much love as you can. Because in the end love is all that matters.

What matters now is that we look deep within our selves and honor Adam. Honor him by extending a smile to a stranger, a hug to a child, and sharing laughter with friends. Adam would want that. This I am sure of. He had so much love in his heart that is was bursting wide open. Adam never cut anyone down, he always saw the good in us and remind us to find the good in others.

My hope is that all of you have an Adam in your lives. Let that person know how much they mean to you and tell them. Because you never know when their last day on earth will be. I have to believe that the best ninjas get to hang out with God. Adam, you my friend were one hell of a Ninja. I will treasure our friendship and miss you deeply. Rest my friend rest on the clouds of heaven.

HTC EVO ~ Ninja BFF Date ~ Ninja Antics and Smaller Pants

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It is well-known that I have a long-standing relationship with my blackberry. Blackberry just wasn’t doing it for me anymore. His keys were getting stuck, the sound went, and shit the dang thing froze all of the time. The curb is where it needed to go. After doing some research and getting advice from my tech ninjas I decided to get the HTC EVO.

Technology and me are like oil and water. Simple is best and sometimes simple isn’t simple enough. If I can turn on a computer I call that a good day. Anyways so far my EVO is doing the trick. I had to teach the darn thing to recognize swear words, it knows plenty now. All versions of Angry Birds have been downloaded, twitter is on the front page, and foursquare works correctly. So far I am loving the thing and haven’t broken or chucked it yet. This, this is big ninjas.

Big Gingers are mighty fine when shared with a Ninja BFF!

The HTC EVO proved to be entertainment for my BFF Ninja dinner date Miss Angela. Lucky for me she figured out how to turn the darn auto correct off. It was driving me nuts. Speaking of nuts, hot damn it is so hard to find a parking spot around Psycho Suzies. That place is always nuts. Lucky for us we got a table right away and had tiki drinks in our hands within minutes of sitting down. Cheese curds and pizza were on tap for the evening. Since it was 100 degrees in there we decided to bolt and head downtown to The Local. Patio seating was available and my oh my the people watching was superb.

Nicollet mall is an interesting run way of sorts for the late night crowd. bachelorette parties ran wild and the cougars were on the prowl. In between checking out the people dessert was had. Ninja BFF dates always end with two things: 1. whiskey and 2. dessert. At The Local they combine the whiskey into dessert so it’s a win win. It was getting late and my date was turning into a pumpkin so we headed home to uptown.

Ultimate Ninja BFF date nights end with dessert!

Uptown is quite the place. My neighbors felt the need to vacuum at 8am. I didn’t appreciate the noise neither did my aching head. Much of Saturday was spent sleeping and running errands. I ran into my ex BFF. Target is no longer my happy place. Jack talked me into meeting up for drinks. Well since I wasn’t on call and after much begging I agreed to hit the town.

Ninja antics ensued as we hopped from bar to bar. Crown and cokes are what I have been drinking lately. A man at the bar told me “I don’t trust girls who drink whiskey. They get crazy.” With that heard I looked the bartender in the eye and said “Crown and Coke sir.” The man next to me: “Shit, and you seemed so normal.” Haha men should never make a comment about a ladies drink of choice. Some of us choose fruity cocktails and others well we go for the hard stuff. No fruit necessary. Soon the evening wore into a blur and I was ready to settle in for the night.

Sunday morning was pretty much a repeat of Saturday. Except for the photo shoot. Man that camera flash hurts the eyes. With the shoot in the bag I headed home to my Mama. Mainly so she could do my laundry. Laundry is important. Since loosing 26 pounds none of my jeans fit and well Rochester has pants lots of pants. I let my mama drive the prius so I could play angry birds on the way down. Priorities I know, there mixed up but hey this was my first time playing angry birds on my new phone. My new pants are a size smaller than the last ones I bought. Go me! I am almost back to my premarriage weight. The ex husband is who I blame for the weight gain and now that he’s gone I am melting like a stick of butter in the hot July sun.

It was a weekend filled with new pants, BFF Ninjas, and to many crown & cokes to count. It was beautiful and a great way to spend my first weekend off in months. Monday always comes to soon. Weekends should be longer and filled with so much love that your heart bursts wide open. Kung fu and ninjas that’s a weekend dreams are made of.

{Judgement} – Open The Book For Once!

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“Don’t Judge a Book By Its Cover. It’s The Story Inside That Counts.”

We live in a day and age where people continue to pass judgement upon one another. You think by now we would have all of our social issues worked out and that we wouldn’t need to treat people like crap. Yet as a society we do.

This didn’t dawn on me until a friend said to me: “AmandaJean you are the first woman to actually treat me like I exist. You don’t look at my weight. You see me as a person.” I lost my kung fu right there on the floor and uttered Shut the front door kid! He went on to explain that he has never had a real girl friend or even a real date. That most of the dates he went on were awkward or out of pity. Pitty is not a reason to date someone. Tears began to fill my eyes. This man is a great catch and deserves to find happiness. He truly deserves to find the one, make those babies, and have the picket fence. I want this for him.

It angers me that people look down upon the overweight. They are people too. Hell when I was in Europe the cathedrals were filled with frescos of women who had back fat and gasp curves. It was in the cathedrals that I personally became ok with having hips and tits. My hips and tits get me lots of places in this world and I am glad to have them on board. Sure I go huff it at the gym just like everyone else and eat mostly organic. But, do we ever stop to think that some people are just built with a smidge of extra love.

Recently a woman was working out next to me. She said to me: ” I want to look like you. You are so skinny.” Trust me, my ass isn’t skinny. I’ve got junk in the trunk and I am ok with it. I quickly said thank you. Took her hand and said “I don’t even know your name, but Babes you are beautiful just the way you are. Do not let anyone tell you any different.” She cried right then and there in the middle of LifeTime fitness. She told me: “No one has ever made me feel so beautiful until now. Thank you, Thank you.” An you can all guess what I said next…..oh yes I pulled the NINJA CARD and she giggled her socks off. Now I’ve got a new friend at lifetime and she is a sweetie that’s for sure. It should be known that I will workout and then treat myself after said workout with a cup cake. Thats how I roll.

Rolling is something we as humans need to do. You’ve gotta roll with the punches and duck from the kicks. Instead of beating one another down, maybe we should try the opposite. Like on Tuesdays we should be nice to each other or hell let’s be nice to each other every day. Yup, I like that idea lets lift each other up every day of the week. Throw back fat, curves, and shit our hips to the side and party like were skinny bitches. Heh, then again the skinny ones are not so fun. I am going with the ones who eat cup cakes after running on a treadmill, those are the real ninjas.

For me Ninjas come in all shapes, sizes, colors, creeds, and gender. Growing up my parents taught us and pounded into us that judgment and hate are bad bad words. Still to this day if I say “Pete I hate the treadmill.” My dad will tell me “Mannie you do not hate, you “dislike” the treadmill. Hate is a sickness and you are not sick.” My father thou a little nutty in his own right is on to something. We are not born to hate and be mean. Hate and meanness are learned traits. Someone had to teach you how to be mean and to hate. Maybe if we stopped the teachers of hate and discrimination our world would be a little brighter.

That is my new goal to stop the hate and get people to really look at one another. To actually see what its like to live in their shoes and to look beyond the flesh that holds the soul. The soul holds the answers, the body is just the vessel that holds it in.