Late one night I noticed that my friend Kate had posted a link about getting a free starter kit from Julep.com, all I had to do was pay $3.99 for shipping. I thought what the heck its only $3.99 and if I don’t like it I can cancel the subscription. The website claims its an easy cancelation process or I can choose to skip a month. With that knowledge in mind I completed my style profile and discovered that I was a modern beauty.
The modern beauty box gets you two full sized products and a bonus product each month. I opted to chose a different style profile for my starter kit, as I was in need of some summery nail polish. For my started kit I selected classic with a twist and was delighted by the quality of the polish and hand scrub. July’s options did not disappoint.
July’s theme is “The California Coast” and the modern beauty box products included a full sized Sea Salt Texture Spray for hair and Beach Tonic dry body oil mist. Both products smell amazing and make me feel like I just walked off the California coast. The Sea salt texture spray does not weigh my curly hair down and it does not feel sticky to the touch. The Beach Tonic oil spray is light and dries quickly, leaving you with soft ocean kissed skin. The bonus product is Green Tea Facial Blotting papers, I have yet to try them.
I am in love with Julep and I am so glad I became a Maven. For $19.99 a month I get a box of lovely products shipped to my door step. If you do not like what’s in your style’s box you can switch to another profile and receive a different box that month or you can constantly switch it up from month to month. I am going to stick with the modern beauty box, as I feel that its the best value.
If you would like to give Julep a try and become a maven. You can use the code FREEBOX to get your first box for free (only pay $4 shipping) just go to http://www.julep.com and enter the code at checkout.
I hope you will enjoy the Maven box just as much as I do.
(I was not compensated for the review. The content and opinion are my own.)
As I charted my future on vision boards, I never once added DIVORCE to the grand plan. Then again I never thought I’d fall in love and get married. At 22 I was focused on finding my way to law school and plotting to change the world. All it took was his brown eyes looking back at mine, law school and my plot blew away with the wind. He told me once “when one dream ends, you make a new one.” That was probably the only wise thing he ever told me. Our marriage was my dream, little by little that dream started to fade and I needed to flee the darkness.
Scott and I had brief moments in the sun. There were cruises, movie nights, laughter, and waterslides. Together it was Bear and Mr. against the world. We were suppose to be a team, yet we were foes. He strayed while I stayed home to raise his son. I went to sleep alone each night as he remained devoted to Magic, WOW, and his flavor of the week. I spent more nights alone than I did with him, yet some how I mustered an “I Love you” when he walked through the door. To the world we were the perfect couple who had it all, behind closed doors we were a disaster.
They say a lady always knows when to leave. I stood on the edge of the unknown for months, friends and family tried to give me a push, only to find me griping at straws. It took the advice of an attorney to get me to take that first step. His words still ring through my mind “Amanda, there are no winners or losers in divorce. It all comes down to a judgment call. Its just someone has to call it first.” I needed someone to tell me it was ok to walk away and to give up the war, he said what I needed to hear. With those words spoken and with he notion that it was ok, I walked away from my suburban married life. I walked away from a man who no longer loved me and I walked into the unknown.
The unknown has turned into a beautiful disaster. Over the past three years I have fallen more times than I can count, yet each day brings me back to the side of that mountain. I have had my share of heart ache and more moments of utter delight than one could ever count. Mostly I figured out who AmandaJean was without a man by her side. I learned that I didn’t need a boyfriend/fiancé/ or husband to define who I was. Finding myself was a journey and one that I had to go through to discover my version of happy. I am just a small town girl who set out to change the world.
On the day I left Scott told me “You will never make it on your own.” Those words haunt me to this day and every time I crash his voice seeps into my mind. I’ve come to realize that Scott was the one who couldn’t make it on his own, he practically had a girl moved in two weeks after I left. He doesn’t know how to be alone and he needs a woman at his side to define who he is. I on the other hand love sleeping smack dab in the middle of the bed and sometimes I am a dare devil and leave a cup in the sink over night. I had to be alone for a while to show myself that I could stand on my own, before I stood on the arm of a man. In the past three years men have come and gone. Just like Charlie, Scott will always be apart of my story. One cannot revel in the sun without dancing in the rain.
Fate is a funny little thing we can’t live without. Only she knows what the future holds for us. I’ve decided to late fate ride and to focus on my career and starting a family of my own. That’s right, you read that correctly. I have decided to become a single mom and have started looking into the adoption process. The past three years have taught me that I do not need a man to have a child, all I need is an open mind and love in my heart. At this point I don’t care about gender, I just want to adopt a healthy child. I can tell you that I have never been more scared in my life, yet I know that its meant to be. If I can wrangle attorneys from 9 to midnight, then I can sure as hell adopt a child on my own.
In truth, I have come farther on my own than I ever thought possible. It turns out that Scott’s words were more for him than me. Because from what I can tell I am standing on my own two feet. My bills are paid, I have a job that I love, I am happy, and I am perfectly fine with sleeping single in a queen sized bed. I am ok with being me and I am happy in my own skin. It took me three years to find my groove and I have no doubt that I will continue to conquer the world.
I try to look for the positive in every situation. On June 21st, the metro area was pelted with strong storms. In its wake the storm left flooded streets, thousands of downed trees, and over 500,000 people were left in the dark. At first Excel energy said our power would be restored by midnight. I didn’t think twice about it. So I dug around in the closet for my power outage supplies and waited.
The wait would be longer than two hours, that time had now been pushed out to midnight Sunday June 23rd. I went to sleep on Friday hoping that my lights would be on in the morning. Hope proved fruitless, on Saturday the muppet and I awoke to the sounds of helicopters and chain saws. Our lights didn’t work. Fearing my own safety I decided it was best to not shower in the dark and headed to my sister’s house, she had power. The uptown that I knew and loved, was dead in the water. Stores, gas stations, and cafes were closed. Heck, the stop lights we folded onto themselves and I dodged fallen trees with the Prius.
Saturday was spent far away from the mess that was my city. Stillwater had sunshine and power. Power had become a very beautiful thing. I listened to Sophia’s laughter as we dined on the patio of Leo’s. In her little world power didn’t matter, she just wants to explore and have fun. Ah, to be that age again. Sophia was cradled safely in my arm as we strolled down main street to Tremblies Candies, this was the day she had candy for the very first time. No amount of destruction or an outage could take the joy of being an aunt away from me.
All to soon it was time for me to head back to uptown to asses the situation. Everyone around me had their power restored, yet my street and a few blocks below me were still dark. I could have stayed at my parents or even my sisters for that matter. Instead I chose to tough it out with the rest of the hippsters. I dubbed it “urban camping,” my fridge had become two coolers, my lights were candles, and I was doing all right with the muppet by my side. Again I went to sleep with the hope that the lights would be on in the morning. I was so hopeful that I left my hallway light switch in the on position.
Sunday morning came without power. This led the muppet and I on a search for ice. Ice was becoming scarce along with batteries and flashlights. Ice was found and sandwich supplies were bought. I placed another call to Xcel, this time the automated message said Wednesday June 26th, I about died when I heard that. I had to call back three more times to make sure it was real. The lack of power was starting to ware and urban camping was beginning to lose its luster. I read 50 shades of gray (I still don’t get what all of the hype is about) and HGTV magazine, boredom was starting to creep in. I was doing my best at keeping the muppet cool, he is not a fan of ice cubes in his water bowl, oh well I tried.
The evening was upon me and I was starting to plot my Monday morning plan. Since I couldn’t see, makeup would be out of the question, if I lit enough candles showering in the dark would be a bit less dangerous, and hey as long as I wear deodorant my coworkers won’t care. Then, just like that the lights came on! Cullen barked his bark and ran in circles at the sound of the AC unit cranking on. Showering by candle light was no longer an option and I was pretty darn happy about that. Our two day urban camping adventure had come to a close and I will never take having electricity for granted again.
This morning while sipping my coffee I glanced at my iPhone and saw that today was June 8th. It took a few moments before I realized that I had let Charlie’s birthday pass me by without a tear. On Sunday June 2nd, Charlie would have been 42. I still find myself looking up and asking “Why?” Why, did you have to leave the stage in the middle of your song.” Did God know something that we didn’t, did he need an angel with one wing in the fire. My Mother tells me that our fate is determined before we are even born. Some of us grow old and weary, others die before their time. Then there are those who knock on deaths door and walk away to live another day. Fate is written in the stars, only God knows what’s ahead and we must keep on fighting the good fight until our names are called.
Death, is the only guarantee in life, everything else is up in the air. It’s simple really we start dying the moment we are born. We spend our lives climbing the mountain and searching the every day for salvation. Church teaches us that there is a here after and that if we live a Christian life we can walk through the gates of heaven. I believe that a life without sin is a life wasted. Those who never sin, are like dreamers without dreams. Heaven knows that I’m not perfect, like Charlie I too have raised a little cain and I plan on raising a whole lot more before they lay my body down. When someone has lived a good life Indian people will say “He lived a good fight.” Each day is a struggle and each of us must find the strength to see it through.
No one said life would be easy nor will it ever be perfect. The moment you think fate has smiled on you God will pitch a curve ball and throw a wrench into your plans. I have seen more balls and wrenches than I care to count. I have fallen in love only to fall out, I carried a child that God called home before he set foot on this earth, and I fell in love with a man that died before I could even say I do. For some reason I was allowed to walk away from deaths door only to find myself taking a seat at a friends funeral. Honestly I have been to more funerals than I have weddings and baptisms. It seems that I keep on fighting the war while my friends lose the battle. This leaves me mystified. One day I am certain it will all make sense.
Sixteen months ago I felt like my life had ended, my heart was broken, and I was tired. I was tired of saying goodbye and watching my dreams crash upon the shores. Everyone else’s boat was reaching the safety of the harbor, while my dingy kept crashing into the sandbar. I wanted the safety of the harbor. I wanted to feel the comfort of the navigational beacons as I sailed through the channel. Safe harbor is what I wanted, but the sandbar is what I needed. The sandbar taught me to breath and to let go. I faced the horizon and swam towards the shore. My memories are what carried me, I said goodbye to the land of what if and hello to the land of the living.
There are moments where I look back and wonder if Charlie knew that he was going to die before his time. He lived his life outside of the lines and loved with all of his heart. He would tell me “AJ, God is the only thing standing between us and the sandman, only he knows if we will rise in the morning light.” I thank God for each day I wake to face the sun. With each new day comes promise, a chance to write a new page, and to raise a little cain. Life is best lived outside of the lines. I rather party with the riffraff than waltz with the straight and narrow. I rather hold the hand of a sinner than the hand of a man who never dared to live. I am in no hurry and the cold ground will have to wait another day to claim this sinners heart. For I’ve greeted the sun and I’ve got a little more cain to raise.
Have Bear Will Travel 