The tables have turned in a lot of my friendships. For the past year and a half I leaned on everyone for support. They whispered words of encouragement in my ear and would listen to me ramble late into the night. I know they did this out of love. I never asked any one to be there for me. They just showed up without questioning me and supported me until I could stand on my own.
I’ve been standing for a while now and have established my self as a young independent professional. My friends have changed. People who I thought were my BFFs took advantage of me and well I chucked their asses to the fucking curb. New friendships sprung out of unusual places and Joy she has always been my quarter back.
I first met Joy during my junior year of college and this is where a small pie addiction began. Joy is an amazing person and through me she dared to dream. Dream so big that she found herself in the sandy deserts of Egypt. I’ll never forget how her face lit up when she spotted the pyramids from our hotel balcony in Cairo. She was literally beaming and I just flung back on the bed and giggled. Giggled because I knew I was apart of her dream and that this was the moment she had longed for.
Her whole life people told her she wouldn’t be anything and that she would never achieve her dreams. There we were crawling through the Valley of the Kings, standing in the Pyramids, and boating down the Nile. The nay sayers can eat their words now. Because Joy lived her dream and she is better because of it. Our trip to Egypt is forever engraved in her. An when people tell her she can’t she can simply say “I did.”
Joy lights up when I come to visit her. She will tell me “You are one of the few that think I am beautiful.” This hurts me to my core. I wish the world could see Joy the way I do. See her for the intelligent beautiful woman that she is. To many people have brought her down. She feels the living isn’t where she belongs. Knowing that she is battling depression hurts me. Because no matter what I say it does not change the words of the past. The put downs, the harassing, and the taunting of society. If I could I would step into her and carry her through until her heart is whole again.
Joy is my rock. I cannot imagine a life without her. I made her promise that when we are old we will live on the beach. I am hanging on to that dream.
I also have the same pact with Angela. Angela brought me strength when I had none and she gave me the ultimate gift. When she found out about my cancer she offered to carry a child for me. This alone rockets her to hero status. She is one of my heroes and I deeply cherish our friendship. When I was going through chemo I had no hope and was crushed. Her words brought me back and her promise sealed our friendship.
Not only did I gain a new best friend I also gained a niece the bean. I hope Angela realizes that in the beans eyes she is a hero. A single mom trying to make it work in a world that’s moving against her. Her daughter is a testament to her strength and her ability to give. To give until she has nothing left. Bull shit has no place in her life. If you speak the truth she will listen and when you are her friend she goes all in.
I love seeing Angela’s face light up when the Bean say’s Mama or giggles. I know that this is her happy. Her daughter makes her happy and gives her reason to improve her life. I know in my heart that Angela is a wall flower just itching to bloom. Watch out for her because once she gets going the goodness is going to flow. Angela is amazing and I am glad I get to be a part of it.
Just know ladies that I love both of you so very much. That because of you I regained my strength and found my happy. You did that for me. So do not go through life thinking you never had an impact. Because babes I am living proof that you did.