Once a month my friends and I get together for a Sunday evening dinner to catch up on life. In the dim light of the News Room I looked around the table at my friends, all happily married or deeply in love with their current mate of the moment. We grew from a group of 20 somes without children to having beautiful babies nesting table side. I thought to myself in this moment I am so lucky to have such amazing friends, all are ninjas in their own right. Of how accomplished we became and that everyone succeeded in their dreams.
My not going to law school is something we never bring up, along with my failed marriage among other things. Instead we sit around and swap old college stories, stories of travel, of loves won and lost. Until someone brings up the question “why are you still single? Normally I can change the subject in a quick pace, but this balmy February night they weren’t having it. They truly out of the kindness of their hearts wanted to know why.
The pressing and teasing continued, I gulped my wine, looked at them and said well loves, “it’s simply by choice.” I think in life sometimes we need to be alone with our own thoughts and feelings before we can truly move on. That we ourselves need to realize that we are good enough on our own. That sometimes vanilla is better than maple nut. Do you know how it amazing it feels to sleep smack dab in the middle of your bed and not have someone complain about it. An dam it if I want to eat ice cream for breakfast, or leave clothes on the floor, mess up the covers I can. Because no one is going to say anything about it, I am going to do it.
I am simply leaving my heart open an not looking. I have faith that when the time is right, Mr. Right will waltz into my life and things will be grand. But right now I like being alone, I can do what ever I want when I want and I love it. Its me and the dog until death do us part. He is the best guy I’ve ever had, he’s loyal, likes to go for walks, never complains and sticks to his side of the bed. So please I know you all love me very much but realize that at this moment in my life I like who I have become and where I am headed.
After I finished my soap box moment, the table was silent, I looked up and realized that tears were sparking in the candle lights. My lovely bunch of misfits were crying. That is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever heard you say, that’s our girl, she’s back, and I love you were exchanged. We made a pact that night, that from here on out at Dinner on Sunday we will no longer ask why are you still single. Because the answer is so beautifully clear.
BECAUSE I CAN BE!