Uncharted Plans

Planning is one thing I am good at. I can plan my life out right down to the finest detail. Yet, nothing I do ever goes according to plan.

I’ve learned over the years that plans are meant to be broken. That if you plan out every detail of your life, you lose your sense of wonder, and never learn to veer.

It was always my plan to go to law school, never get married, and maybe one day I’d adopt. It’s funny how at 23 I took a flying leap of that train, got married, gave up law school, and well became a step mom. A housewife is something I could never be, I never felt fulfilled or complete. The x he knew this and tried to fill in the void, he never really understood that I gave up a dream for him. At 27, I put myself first for once and moved on. On to a better day and a new time for me.

People ask will you get married again. The answer is maybe, but most likely not. For some reason I find comfort in knowing that I am free to walk away and not be bound by paper. Divorce is messy, breaking up is hard, yet cleaner and less expensive than a divorce.

My parents were only married for 1 year, got an annulment and have been living together happily unmarried for 35 years. That right there stands for something, maybe they have it right. Maybe marriage is for the birds.

One thing I know is, I want a relationship like theirs. 35 years of stories, tears, laughter, and adventure. I do not want a ring or a certificate to define me or my love for who ever my future partner is.

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