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Child Loss

This category contains 42 posts

{Infertile Me} Three steps closer, Three steps back 

For three months I have tried and failed to get pregnant. My life has been consumed by Femera tablets, ovidrel injections, ultrasounds, IUIs, and progesterone. I’ve taken and done all of those things and I am no closer to motherhood than when I started. It is still eluding me. No matter how much money I … Continue reading

{Go Red} A Chance at Motherhood is Why I Go Red 

  I am the mother of two babies. My babies do not walk this earth, instead they paint the colors of the sunrise. Lucia would be 7 years old and Baby E would have just turned one. I would have my hands full. My arms are not filled with children, instead they are filled with … Continue reading

{2016} Life Found Its Way In 

2016 was about learning to let go of my single girl shoes so that I could walk comfortably in my relationship shoes. I no longer buy groceries for one, I actually buy vegetables and things that I have no intention of eating but I know Jay will. It’s about yelling “Cully stop trying to hump … Continue reading

{Christmas} With Angels 

Christmas has and will always be my favorite time of year. There is magic in the air and in your heart you know anything is possible. People are kinder to one another and for a little while all is right.  In the stillness my mind drifts to the land of wonder, the place where what … Continue reading

{Engaged Life} Boxes in a new zip code

Life moves on.  My zip code has moved too. I hung up my single uptown girl shoes, only to put on a comfortable pair of committed relationship shoes. It took almost 6 years but I have finally found my zen, my happy, and that happy is a townhome in the suburbs. I know, I know … Continue reading

{Lucia & Baby E} Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month 

October is many things. For me it’s my birthday month and more importantly it’s where my second story began. I get lost in the details, counting days, writing posts, and reflecting on the year before me. No one ever said survivorhood would be easy. No one ever said “not all babies get to come home.”  … Continue reading

{Chasing Rainbows} You Were Always Meant to be an Auntie 

Children are something I have always wanted. Motherhood is an unattainable dream I have actively been chasing. Sometimes I look up and wonder “why me?” In those moments a quiet voice whispers “why not you” and I realize that God chooses the strongest of the strong to be a mother to Angels.  You see my … Continue reading

{Divorced Life} Standing On The Other Side 

I watched the days tick closer and closer to June 27, to most it’s a regular day, but for me it signifies the beginning. Six years ago today I walked out of my lovely home nestled on a quiet street in Woodbury with my best friend at my side and I never looked back.  The … Continue reading

{Infertility} The Ugly Truth about Chasing Rainbows

When  a woman has a misscarriage or a still birth people often say “oh you can try again. You will have another one, don’t worry.” They do not realize that those words or even the thought of trying again cuts through her soul. She wanted THAT baby. She did not plan for a future baby, … Continue reading

{Lucia} A Lifetime of Wonder 

Dearest Lucia, Today Friday May 13th marks your 6th Angel Birthday. It’s hard for mommy to believe that I have spent 6 years without you. There isn’t a day that goes by where mommy doesn’t think of you. Long ago I stopped asking God “why Lucia? Why did God need you more than I did … Continue reading

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