Please understand that you are now a mother. Not only a mother to the child you are carrying, but a mother to Nylan. To my son (well my son from another mother) and I ask that you treat him like he was your own. Please understand that I raised him, I am the only mother he’s ever had. In life the step parent loses out, we are expected to walk away from a child that we raised and wash our hands of them. I am a mother at heart and for as long as I live Nylan will always be on he back of my mind. I will love that child until my last day.

I know that you may get frustrated at times, he may disrespect you, throw fits, and stomp off in anger. But know that he will warm up to you. It will take time for his little heart to heal, you will never fill the void that I’ve left in his heart. But I have faith that he will warm up to you and respect you for what you are. He may question and blame you down the road, it’s up to Scott to tell him the truth. To tell him, that daddy messed up and that’s why Nannie walked away.

Des, I can tell you it hurt like hell when I said good-bye to Nylan one last time. Its december, god does he love christmas. I’ll admit I spoiled the crap out of him, he had two trees, a huge stocking and presents, more presents than legally allowed.

As you adjust to life in my home, know that i designed that house for a family, the kitchen was my dream. You may not think much of the butterfly granite, the gold walls, and pecan hickory floors, but that was my dream, a bakers paradise. I lost a bet that’s why the bed room walls are black, i am sue by now you’ve ripped my face from every frame I left behind and that you stripped the home of my memories. Just know that at one time the house you call a home was built on my love, love for a family that would slowly drift apart. I pray that you have better luck, I’d keep a close eye on Scott, he is know to lurk on the list and has more women’s numbers in his EVO than I have fingers and toes.

Please know that the dogs you now call your own, were once mine. Little Freckles was a birthday present to me, I rescued her. She is sweet energetic and kind. Mystra, she’s old and wise, a true pupy lady, Hazel is your typical middle child. Love those dogs with all of your heart and they will love you back.

Somethings to know about Nylan. Yes, when he didn’t eat his dinner i told him that starving children in africa would kill for his dinner. Yes, i put numerous leggos and other toys left out in the recycle bin. (they never made it to the curb) It taught him to clean up after himself. Nylan loves to help clean, he knows how to put his clothes in the washer and where the soap goes. Nylan likes waffles with syrup for breakfast. they have to be chocolate chip otherwise he won’t eat them. He’ll eat chicken any way you fix it. That boy loves bbq outside, fires in the fire pit, playing in the yard and so much more. Just know these things and you’ll be all right.

Just please love that child like he is your own. As I maybe gone, but Nylan will always be apart of who i am. He was and is my first child.