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dating, Friends Are Like Good Bras, life lessons, love

Relationship Advice From The Divorced Girl?

It amazes me when friends call late at night looking for a kind ear and solid relationship advice. Heck, if I were you I’d be the last person I’d come to for advice. Then again I am known for my blunt, no bull shit, straight from the heart, and tell you like it is advice. You will never get sugar-coating from me.

One thing I can not stand are liars and people who are so fake they make a snake look cool. Be yourself and you can never go wrong. Don’t lie to get someone to like you or to make people think you are better than what you are. Lies start to unravel after a while and you will find yourself drowning alone. An no one wants to be alone. No one likes a person who walks around in a suit when they don’t have to. Maybe that suit makes you feel important, gives you a sense of worth, and protects your secrets from the world. At the end of the day your suit has to come off and the holes in your shoes will collect water. No one likes wet socks, not even me.

Socks are something you should never lose on a first date. It’s ok to giggle your socks off, but never leave them behind. Maybe I am a tad old-fashioned or just a little jaded by my divorce. All to often my male friends call me and say she broke up with me. I kindly ask why knowing full well its 3am and I have to be awake in 2 hours. They tell me what went wrong and usually it ends up with they lost their socks and she walked away. I say hold on to your socks until you build something you can stand on. Then again I didn’t heed my own advice and found myself divorced 6 years later.

Divorce is something I never want to see any of you go through. Trust me no one ever plans on it. People change, things change, and divorce is the only way out. I have seen divorced women who flaunt it like their Mama’s told them not to do and then there are those who cry into their tissues.The same goes for women who are fresh out of a break up. They like divorced women build these walls and start to date like men. Men are an interesting creature. One of these days we will be provided with manuals to figure them out.

Most of my male friends are single. They are the type of man who worked hard to build a career, bought homes/condos, and are over all great catches. Yet their still single. I will point out that most of them are under 5’10”. They are short and for some reason women will not give them the time of day. There is nothing wrong with short men. I tend to date on the shorter side, I don’t try to it just turns out that way. Ladies give the short ones a chance, you will be surprised. Just look past the fact that neither of you will be able to reach things up high and you will be fine.

On the other side of the coin alot of my female friends are young professionals or single mamas. I am the only divorced one in the pack. They often tell me its hard to find a man to put up with their independent crazy work schedule life style. I tell them date up not down. If you date down that person may not understand your schedule and lifestyle. Date someone who can fit into your life and someone who will want to work with you to make those dates. Someone who understands that yup, you may cancel plans last-minute but, you will make up for it later. Heck, he might have to cancel plans and send you flowers the next day to put a smile on your face. Date the person you can’t live without, who cares if he doesn’t fit the mental image of prince charming. Every man deserves a chance to be with a professional woman like you. Go out and make someones day. It doesn’t hurt to grab a drink and have a conversation for a few hours.

Drinks lead to interesting conversations. Yes, I have been drunk dialed by friends and had my door knocked on at 3 am when dates go a rye. Turning them away is not an option. I am not that type of person. I sit with them hand tissue over or utter the words “Its going to get batter. You are an Awesome Ninja. Mr/Ms Right is just hiding on you.” A smile usually breaks when the word Ninja is used and that smile leads to a giggle. Giggles let us know that we are going to be all right and that hey its all part of the game.

So my advice is dust off your dating shoes and try, try, try until something sticks. You are never going to find love if you hide in your office all day. Cruise the streets look for eye candy, talk to a stranger, and be yourself. Invite that coworker you’ve been eyeing to happy hour, ask the barista to dinner, and answer an online ad. So what if they shoot you down. It just means they weren’t worth your time to begin with. So Ninjas what are you going to do? You my friends are going to go get your date on.

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About NinjaInTheCity

AmandaJean is a thriving pulmonary embolism & stroke survivor, passionate Paralegal, Advocate, and Blogger who believes she can change the world one person at a time. She is obsessed with the Law, beauty subscription boxes, collecting costume jewelry, visiting flea markets, Ruby Red Squirt and Candy Corn. World Traveler. Serial Volunteer. Lover of Frank Lloyd Wright, Heart Healthy Living, and good wine. Mama to a Muppet like dog. Aunt to @HalfPintNinja

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