Facing My Shadow In The Sun

Everyone comes to a point in their life where they are standing in the middle of a four-way. Do you go forward, turn to the right, turn to the left, or do you turn around and go back the way you came. It doesn’t matter which direction you choose. Whats matters is that YOU faced your shadow in the sun.

I’ve had quite the journey. There are days where I look back on my life and think “wow I can’t believe I did that!” Even I am at awe with what I have accomplished and how far I’ve had to come to find my cross roads. The road was filled with struggles, distractions, love, heart-break, and tears. I wouldn’t trade those moments for anything. Because the moments are what make me who I am.

Sitting still is something I could never do. Maybe its my ADD or my desire to move up. I thirst for adventure and challenge feeds every fiber of my soul. When I am no longer challenged boredom seeps in and I go searching for a new adventure. Lately I have been given the opportunity to interview for jobs out-of-state. Moving away from Minneapolis would be an awesome adventure and a challenge. Part of me wants to go right for adventure. Yet part of me wants to stay and watch my niece Sophia grow. I do not want to be that aunt she only sees on holidays. I want to be the one who stands by her side and teaches her to say “Mommy no no purses…..I’m hungry! Sophia needs food” when standing in the purse department of a store.

Stores are something I judge a city by. I have decided that I can live somewhere as long as they have a Bulls Eye in their town. Trader Joes would be nice, however I can live without it as long as there is another organic market to choose from. Corn fields are meant to be conquered. After all Children Of The Corn is just a silly movie. The muppet has no preference to where we live. That is unless there isn’t a dog park. He won’t do a city unless they have a dog park. He informed me of this yesterday. Silly dog.

Then again Minneapolis is full of Bulls Eyes, Trader Joe’s, skyways, and of course dog parks. We can’t forget the muppet in this city choosing equation. I love this city and the people that live here. Well maybe except for the cyclists that ride their bikes down the middle of the road. You I don’t like, because I feel like I am going to hit you with the Prius. An well maybe people who walk really slow in the skyway. They bug me too. Part of me wants to wait it out and see what the giant firm will do. The other part of me knows that if they haven’t made a move now, they never will. This is my chance to take what I’ve learned and prove myself to another firm. One that understands how smart I am and that my passion for the law lies deep. I want to be a change maker and some day I’ll be known for just that. For now I am happy that people know me as one hell of a paralegal that never gives up.

Don’t get me wrong I love my current job. However dealing with my coworkers and getting thrown under the bus is getting old. It seems no matter where I go people try to bring me down. As the assignment wears down I fear that more of them will try to run me over. Tire tracks do not look good on me. I am tired of dodging buses and light rail trains. So I find my self at a cross-road. Facing my shadow in the sun and wanting something more. The question is do I go forward or do I turn around and go back the way I came.

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