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life lessons, survival, Uncategorized

{MckMama} An Open Letter To A Mommy Blogger Gone Wrong

Dear Jennifer aka MckMama:

I am not one to jump into drama. I tend to tread around the fray and only jump in when it directly impacts me and the lives of others. I believe in standing up, stepping out, and speaking loudly to better those around me. Yesterday evening I glanced at your blog. It had been a while since I looked at your site, three words caught my eye and I became very angry. MckMama wrote: God Hates Divorce as her reason to why she isn’t going to leave her abusive husband. This alone is not true and is twisting the beauty of religion into a horrible being. In truth the Bible never states that God hates divorce nor does it mention that he hates anything.

MckMama goes on to state that God wants her to honor, forgive, and be with her husband. A man who has laid his hands upon her in violence, cut off all communication, and left her fending alone with five young children. The man I described does not deserve honor. He deserves a kick in the ass, yet she believes that God wants her to stay and to honor the man who fathered her children. MckMama tells other women to try to make their marriages work. To honor God by obeying your husband, no matter how bad he is you must obey. You must honor the man who lays his hands upon you. Why because you deserved it. Deserved it because you must not have lived up to God’s standard of honoring and obeying your husband. In truth no woman deserves to be hit.

MckMama stop hiding behind your God. Come into the light admit your wrongs and speak the truth. The truth in the end will set you free. Public records prove to us that you and your husband filed bankruptcy, went through foreclosure, and have thousands of dollars in tax liens. Admit that you exploit your children for clicks and the all mighty dollar. Admit that you are wrong for miss using religion. Isn’t it time you righted the course and set yourself free.

MckMama do you not realize that your words can cause harm. Your reader base is huge and some of those women are trapped. Trapped in bad marriages and are looking at you for advice. Every word you write seeps into their soul and most will stay because you said “God wants me to obey my husband.” A God-fearing woman won’t leave her abusive husband, she will stay. She will continue to cover the dark bruises with thick make-up and put on a smile even though she’s dying inside. Some stay until their last breath is violently taken from their body. Emotional/mental abuse has broken their spirits and they can no longer face the sun. They turn to a woman like you who says “God wants us to obey and honor our husbands.” So they walk back into those violent hands. They no longer feel worth it and now they have a fresh bruise upon them. Those women need a push in the right direction. She needs to know that its ok to walk away and to save herself. That when the ink dries on her divorce decree God will still love her. You have the power to give her that push and stand by her side as she passes through the worst moment of her life. To stand by her side, dry her tears, and help her find her self again. Because in this world every woman deserves a chance in the sun. A chance to fight for herself. There is nothing more beautiful than watching someone find themselves again.

MckMama I know your kind. Your kind is abrasive and cowardly hides behind the Bible. Someone just like you once told me: “AmandaJean your stroke was a punishment from God. God doesn’t want us to use contraception. You got what you deserved. Now you must pay for your sin.” I promptly told that woman the following: My stroke was not a punishment. If it was meant to be a punishment for using contraception than God would have let me die that day. The ultimate punishment is death and my dear I’m still standing above ground. So that is a sign that My God loves me, he loves me because he let me live. Think about that the next time you use the name of God in an untruthful light.

People use God in funny ways and try to use the power of religion to benefit their own well-being. God is not a tool, he is a man. A very loving man who accepts all of his children. Gay, straight, lesbian and so on, he knows no hate only love. I am a firm believer that we are all made in God’s image, yup you read that right MckMama. We are all created in the image of God, so therefore a small piece of God is Gay. Otherwise our gay brothers and sisters wouldn’t be walking on this earth. God does not use homosexuality as a punishment. Gay people are beautiful and I am proud to stand by their side and fight for what is right. They are and will always be human just like you and me.

MckMama you have five beautiful children. Children are God’s way of letting us know that he still has faith in man kind. Each child is a new beginning a beautiful gift, and something that should never be exploited. I would give anything to have my son standing above ground. A man once told me: “AmandaJean your baby died because you did something wrong in Gods eyes. Its his way of letting you know he doesn’t have faith in you and doesn’t think your worthy enough to be a Mom. He is punishing you for your sins.” I looked down at my shoes and said: My God loves me. He has faith in me. My x husband wasn’t there the day I found out Alucious died. He didn’t even really care. Yet I know I wasn’t alone, because that is when God carried me. My son is with me in spirit and one day I will hold my baby in my arms. I pray you never have to know what its like to lose a child. You never get over the death of a child you just learn to live with it.

Stop and tell your children you love them. Admit to the world that you exploit them for clicks. I bet you get giddy when the number of clicks sky-rocket on your site. When they sky-rocket you get a nice paycheck in the mail. I’ve seen the blogs about how you used your son Stellan’s medical trauma to get more clicks to your site. You sat there and blogged while your child was fighting for his life. I fight for children like your son. Children who are born with heart defects and are fighting for their lives. I tell my congressmen that we need more funding for pediatric heart defects and that we need to find a cure. You are lucky Jennifer. Lucky because you can hold Stellan. My Father’s niece died so your son could thrive. She was the first neonatal heart transplant in Minnesota. She lived to be three years old and they gain an insight into the working of a child’s heart. That research was put into books, journals and shared across this land. That research saved your child. So be thankful, be greatful, and let the world know how incredibly lucky you are. Because at any moment you could be standing in my shoes. I walk this earth without my son.

MckMama I am standing up for your so-called sinners and I am calling you out. You are a liar. A liar Jennifer who uses religion to benefit her own personal gains. Someone who prays upon the hearts of the weak and someone who does not stand up for herself or mankind. You call yourself a sinner. It’s true you are. No one not even Jesus left this world without sin. Because if you haven’t sinned then my friend you never lived at all. I urge you to stand up for yourself and to better the lives of your children. Free yourself from the arms of abuse. Stop twisting the Bible and spewing words of hate. Hate is a sickness. Face the facts, let justice seep in, and truly know what its like to stand in the light. Stop hiding in the corners and stand proudly in the center of your life.

Jennifer, please realize that this isn’t an attack. Its awake up call. My God smiles upon all of us and accepts that we will sin. I am urging you to click the contacts tab up above and tell me exactly which page in the Bible says “God Hates Divorce.” Tell me the exact page that reads “God Hates homosexuals.” Jennifer I want to know what book tells women “You must obey and honor your abusive husband.” Send me the page numbers Jennifer, send me your proof that God is capable of hate. I’ll be waiting for your email. To your followers I say this: BRING IT! I am not afraid of you. Your words, your cowardly beliefs mean nothing to me. Because I know the meaning of God.

Mostly Jennifer email me when you decide to fight for yourself. I will stand by your side and whisper “Go Jennifer Go in your ear.” I will not judge you nor will I tell you its wrong. A wise attorney once told me: “It all comes down to a judgment call. There are no winners or losers. It doesn’t matter who walks away first.” MckMama I heard those words on Friday June 25th, 2010. It gave me the push I needed to walk out that door On June 27th, 2010. That attorney made me realize it was ok to walk away from my marriage. All of my other friends told me to stay. To stay with a man who mentally and emotionally abused me. I was so broken and hurt that when I looked in the mirror I didn’t see me. I had lost myself and I was tired of trying to love a man who was repulsed by me. That Attorney told me it was ok and that I would be ok. He was right it hurt, it sucked, and now I am ok.

I have faith that if you chose to divorce your husband, you’d be ok too. An if your God turns his back on you because you signed a divorce decree. Then Jennifer I will show you my God who will welcome you with open arms. My God welcomes all of his children and would never turn his back on them. He stands by us during our darkest hour and cheers us on when we stand in the sun. My God loves you.

All I ask is this: Please be careful with how you use religion. You have no idea what your reader is going through. For all you know she is reading your blog while holding an ice pack to her face and wondering when the next punch will come. Your words regarding homosexuals could push someone over the edge. Your words of hate could be the last thing someone reads before taking their own life. Know that sick people look at your site and you are subjecting your beautiful children to their perverted minds. Hug your children and protect them with every fiber of your being. Mostly Jennifer tell people that you “think” God wants us to do this or that. Don’t say “God said that he wants us or God says we should do xyz.” In this time of trial people are clinging to any last shred of hope they can find. Thats all I ask is that you put money aside and think about how your words impact people.

Truthfully Yours
AmandaJean

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About NinjaInTheCity

AmandaJean is a thriving pulmonary embolism & stroke survivor, passionate Paralegal, Advocate, and Blogger who believes she can change the world one person at a time. She is obsessed with the Law, beauty subscription boxes, collecting costume jewelry, visiting flea markets, Ruby Red Squirt and Candy Corn. World Traveler. Serial Volunteer. Lover of Frank Lloyd Wright, Heart Healthy Living, and good wine. Mama to a Muppet like dog. Aunt to @HalfPintNinja

Discussion

3 thoughts on “{MckMama} An Open Letter To A Mommy Blogger Gone Wrong

  1. Hi,

    I’m not sure if you’re aware of this, but MckMama admitted on her blog that she was to blame for her husband being arrested for Domestic Violence; that she caused it. Not from a victim standpoint, but from a “I got mad at my husband and wanted to teach him a lesson” standpoint. She admits this on her blog, but you have to go way back to find it. She may have even deleted it by now. Apparently, they had a heated argument and she called the police with the accusation that he wanted to harm her or some such. She was also pregnant with Stellan at the time (and simulataneously presenting her family as one, big happy unit, even when he was “unable” to be in Boston because he was forbidden to be near her/incarcerated). In a more recent post, she admits to having resorted to throwing chairs when her anger rages. It is my opinion that her husband is not the abuser, but the abused. And so he left, after warning her time and time again that if things didn’t change, he would leave. And, to her surprise, he simply kept his promise. I was one of MckMama’s biggest supporters, and I felt like a fool when I learned the truth behind her words. I’m friends with some of the more reputable bigger Christian bloggers, and when they began to pull away and rescind their support quietly, I soon followed. Please be very careful painting her husband as an abuser. MckMama is a woman with documented rage and honesty issues and there are women such as herself who use their “womanhood” to their advantage. I have a feeling she is the abuser in the relationship and he finally just had enough of the abuse. I believe he also got tired of the money games and wanted to make positive changes in his life which would have required change on her part that she wasn’t willing to make, possibly for the sake of the almighty dollar. I also believe MckMama plays to her Christian audience, but wouldn’t know how to walk like an authentic Christian if she had to. Her persona, as sick and twisted as it may be, pays the bills and then some. I believe her Christian Mommy Blogger status is something few people take to hold any weight these days, sadly. It’s all just a persona. Thank you for allowing me to share my thoughts.

    Posted by Elisabethanne | February 25, 2012, 11:20 pm
  2. Malachi 2:16. Actually God does say he hates divorce.

    Posted by Anonymous | February 26, 2012, 12:54 am

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