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{Infertility} The Ugly Truth about Chasing Rainbows

When  a woman has a misscarriage or a still birth people often say “oh you can try again. You will have another one, don’t worry.” They do not realize that those words or even the thought of trying again cuts through her soul. She wanted THAT baby. She did not plan for a future baby, … Continue reading

{Lucia} A Lifetime of Wonder 

Dearest Lucia, Today Friday May 13th marks your 6th Angel Birthday. It’s hard for mommy to believe that I have spent 6 years without you. There isn’t a day that goes by where mommy doesn’t think of you. Long ago I stopped asking God “why Lucia? Why did God need you more than I did … Continue reading

{Baby E} Empty Sac, Big Impact

A year has almost passed since a bright blue plus sign appeared. I sat on the floor staring at it in disbelief. It was a good 30 minutes before it sunk in that the plus sign was for me and that a baby was on board. I was given a second chance at motherhood and … Continue reading

{Weight Watchers} Thinking Outside of the Grocery Store

I spend my bus ride to and from work scrolling through the Weight Watchers Connect feature. People post about their struggles, their triumphs, and mostly their relationship with food. On how they would eat their feelings and stressors. Some admit that eating brings them the pleasure that their lives are lacking. One woman said “a … Continue reading

{Mother’s Day} STILL A Mother, My Babies You Will Always Be 

I walked past the shelves of neatly organized Mother’s Day cards and past banners  reminding me that it was on May 8th. Commercials on the radio quickly tell me I need to hurry in and by my Mother a gift, it seems mothers like strands of pearls not fancy brunch dates. Or so that is … Continue reading

{Lucia} April Fools’….Hello Baby

   Thursday April 1, 2010 started out like a normal day. Until I checked in at the INR clinic it didn’t even dawn on me that it was April Fools’ Day. The nurses asked me if I had played any jokes yet, I said “nope I forgot it was April 1st.” They laughed. The nurses … Continue reading

{Charlie} Death, A Lifetime Ago

  It’s strange to say that, it feels like Charlie died a lifetime ago. Then there are days where it feels just like yesterday. Grief is funny one moment can propel you forward and another can bring you right back to that moment. The moment when your heart broke.  He died in surgery before I even … Continue reading

{I Am A Mother} To An Angel is NOT supportive of all Moms

  After we lost baby E, I was searching for a connection with other angel mommies and a friend suggested I follow the “I am a mother to an Angel” Facebook page. I took up her suggestion and hit like, I also joined the private group “Awaiting Rainbows: TTC after a loss.” The  ladies in this … Continue reading

{Lucia & Baby E} My Babies You Will Always Be

  “For as long as I am breathing, my babies you will always be” In story books, everything is perfect. Girl meets her prince, her prince knocks her up, and nine months later the family of two becomes three. The writers make pregnancy out to be magical and easy. On the pages, every woman gets pregnant, … Continue reading

{Muppet like Dog} It was me who got rescued 

  It’s hard to believe that five years ago today I left work sick “cough cough” and drove 6 hours to get a dog. A dog that I had never seen, but Pam and Carrie said was the perfect fit for me. I trusted the Whipstaff Ranch ladies and I knew in my heart that this … Continue reading

NinjaInTheCity Life in Photos

I asked Jay to bring home something sweet. He brings home one of my favorite pies. ♥️ #HeIsAKeeper @soulposeyoga #lifeiswhy @goredforwomen @american_heart #strokesurvivor doing yoga @soulposeyoga #LifeIsWhy #strokeSurvivor I can do YOGA @goredforwomen @american_heart @soulposeyoga Twin Cities! Grow a Zombie, they said. Add water, they said. It's all mine! All mine!!!!!

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