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{Boudoir} Celebrating Me

Ten borrowed years have passed since I heard the words “massive pulmonary embolism with infarction and stroke.” My body may be scarred, but she is beautiful. She had to break, before I could shine. Nine years have passed since the first time I heard the words “I’m sorry but there is no heartbeat.” My womb … Continue reading

{Hearts on 22} TEN Incredible Borrowed Years

On October 22, 2009 my life, it changed forever. I woke up that morning as a healthy 26 year old and within hours I was admitted to the ICU at Woodwinds. I almost died five days before my 27th birthday. This life that I live, is an incredible borrowed gift. I have lived 10 borrowed … Continue reading

{Infertile Me} and so it begins, again

If you would have told me 3 years ago that I would be heading to Iowa to make a baby, I would have called you bluff. Yet here I am clocking the miles on the Prius driving back and forth between Des Moines and Minneapolis. It’s a three and a half hour drive that I’ve … Continue reading

In this season of life; we pray

My dad has asked me over and over again “why did this have to happen to me?” I looked up form our puzzle and said “a wise man once told me we don’t ask why; instead we ask why not me!?” He just stared at me and then smiled. I myself have looked up towards … Continue reading

{Love} Four years

After Charlie died I thought I was jinxed. I thought that I’d didn’t deserve love or to be happy. I dated a lot, but nothing stuck. It was always the same old boring date with no follow up calls. Some nights I’d just go on a date to get out of the house with the … Continue reading

{Survivorhood} Year Nine

Nine. I can still remember exactly what I was wearing on the day my world broke. Gray cardigan, white button down peasant top, jeans, and cranberry ballet flats. The shoes, I still have them. They are worn and raggedy, I just can’t let them go. Those shoes carried me in the ER and they walked … Continue reading

{Only In MN} Jeffers Petroglyphs

I am always intrigued by those brown “historical marker” signs along the highway. Sometimes they lead me to just a plaque describing a place that once was or sometimes I hit the jackpot and it turns out to be amazing. In early May while driving to Lake Shetek State Park I saw such a sign … Continue reading

{Infertile Me} Operation Transfer Take Home Baby

The moment I have been prepping for is nearly here. All of the injections, blood draws, scans, pills and whatever else I have been through have lead me to this moment. To this very moment motherhood is only one embryo transfer away. It’s strange to think about. I walk in not pregnant and will walk … Continue reading

{Hearts on 22} 8 Borrowed Years

It seems like it was yesterday that I was laying in ICU wondering what my life was going to be like. Would I thrive in my new normal or would I flounder. Would I always see myself as a victim or would I find my survivor shoes and thrive? There were a lot of what … Continue reading

{Infertile Me} Operation Embryo

My stomach looks like I have been brutally punched by multiple elephants. These bruises and I are not strangers, we’ve been here before, except this time I am not fighting for my life. I am fighting for eggs that lord willing will turn into embryos that will turn into our take home baby. I was … Continue reading

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