My stomach looks like I have been brutally punched by multiple elephants. These bruises and I are not strangers, we’ve been here before, except this time I am not fighting for my life. I am fighting for eggs that lord willing will turn into embryos that will turn into our take home baby.

I was prepared for the daily injections of the fertility meds, however I was not prepared for the flood of emotions that came with the lovenox burning under my skin. Lovenox, we have a love hate relationship. I can’t stand the ground she walks on but I need her in my life. She is the key to my survival without her I could not go through IVF and without her Jay has the potential of walking out of the hospital with our baby alone. Him walking out alone rocks me to my core and lovenox, she knows this. She knows I need her more than she needs me.

Lovenox knows that I made a choice. A choice to use a birth control that almost killed me and because of twice daily injections for 6 months I am alive. Technically I owe her a thousand thank yous, which she will never get because she burns me like no one has before. Because seeing her on my bathroom counter is a reminder that I almost died and because of that I cannot have a normal IVF experience or pregnancy.

Enough about that bitch Lovenox, the real reason you are here is to find out about operation embryos. Per my clinic I am on protocol 3 with Saizen, (human growth hormone) which cost $918.00 for a teeny tiny vial. I’ve been getting Lovenox (see there she is again) and menopur in the morning and Gonal F and Siazen at night. We have more needles and alcohol wipes than we know what to do with at the moment. It’s insane! Jay is getting really good at giving shots! Props to me! I’ve been doing some of the shots myself so Jay can sleep in a little bit.

So far operation embryo: follicle stage is going strong. Thursday’s scans showed 11 follicles that could result in 11 eggs. Which is really good for someone with diminished ovarian reserve and old eggs. I honestly feel amazing on the meds, it’s clear my body is getting something that it is missing. Most importantly it’s actually growing something she is suppose to be growing!!! Like “go you body! Go you!!” Which makes me really happy.

The clinic will continue to monitor me right up until retrieval day, the day we find out if my follicles have eggs inside. Eggs! I want all the eggs! Give AJ all the eggs! Technically all we need is one golden egg that will turn into our embryo. Tentative retrieval date is next Friday and let me tell you I have a super awesome shirt to wear to surgery. It involves a T-Rex!!!! Yes an unstoppable T-Rex, because this girl wasn’t given a choice, she just showed up, and she just did it!