When Lucia died I was never given the option for genetic testing, instead I had to literally demand it. Many thousands of dollars later we learned that he was genetically and chromosomally perfect. There was no why or a how behind his death. He just simply stopped being and for some strange reason that news brought me comfort.

Fast forward five years, this time around it didn’t really cross my mind to ask for testing. I figured an empty gestational sac is simply just empty. To my surprise the doctor emailed to tell me that the pathology results were in. I thought to my self “Pathology” results? I don’t remember them mentioning anything about testing.” 

The proof was in the testing. The little sac that couldn’t was more than just a little sac. It was a sac filled to the brim with answers. A human cannot have 69 chromosomes, we only need 43, no less and no more, only 43 will do. I wondered to myself “How the heck does one embryo get 63 chromosomes? I must be broken or Jay is broken, someone must be broken?” I read a little further and the answer to my question was in the text “two sperm fertilized one egg.” It happens in every 1 out of 3,000 pregnancies and the likelihood of it reoccurring again is very slim. 

The true medical term for this is: partial hydatidiform mole or a partial molar pregnancy, which occurs when the egg receives two sets of chromosomes from the father, usually because the egg has been fertilized by two sperm instead of one. The egg now has 69 chromosomes, instead of the normal 46. 69 chromosomes means no baby and your body will recognize this and the miscarriage process will start. That is if your body is smart, mine is not that smart……..

The embryo had only partially developed and a cluster of grape-like cysts, which is known as a hydatidiform mole began to grow and take over. Now the waiting begins and the lab work starts. The doctor is going to follow me until my HCG level returns to zero. If it does not reach zero it means that there is abnormal tissue growing and I will have to under go chemotherapy to kill it off. That in itself does not sound fun and it is a road I would like to avoid. In the mean time I am keeping everything crossed that my HCG will return to zero. We want a big fat zero!! Come on zero, I want you and need you in my life!

Wait and see land is a terrible place to be and I want out!  I have many trips to the lab in my future and will have my blood drawn every few days until my level reaches zero. I am praying that on Monday my first blood draw will be a big fat zero. Jay and I want to move on and put our little ball of 69 chromosomes behind us. 

Nothing is every easy, all of the weird medical shit happens to me. Just once I would like a break from the office visits and medical bills. Leave it to me to be the 1 out of 3,000. In away it is cool that medical science has come so far that they can tell two sperm fertilized one egg. Like that is crazy cool when you think about it. Gosh darn I love science! 

My bright side in this situation is this: “I CAN get pregnant! My uterus may be beat up and bruised, but she sure as hell ain’t broke! The best part is: I am not going through this alone, I have an amazing man who is holding my hand every step of the way. Jay is making me laugh, giving me back rubs, and taking much needed naps with me. I am so glad I have him in my life! With Jay at my side all things are possible, one day we will have a little one to call our own. Right now Jay and I are settling for the newest addition to our family a little gray kitten with a very pink nose named Griffin.