Monthly Archives: June 2012

{Divorce} Standing on the Other Side – Two Years Later

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He told me “You will never make it on your own”. With those words spoken our marriage ended. I packed up my life and put one foot toward my future. On nights that are a little to lonely my ex-husbands last words are whispered into my ear. Doubt sets in and then the tears began to fall. I often wondered if he was right. If he knew something about me that I didn’t know. In the morning I would push doubt to the side and use his words to motivate me. Motivate me to change the box I was standing in. I was going to prove to him that I could make it on my own. Mostly I needed to prove to myself that he was wrong.

At first it was hard. I had to figure out how to pay bills, check my oil, and other day-to-day things. With help from loving friends and family I mastered online bill pay, found the dip stick, and managed to survive on my own. Slowly the pieces of my life started coming back together. I was no longer a shattered doll, but a doll with cracks. Each day I faced my fears and believed in myself a crack would disappear. Soon I would face the sun as a new woman with scars on her soul. Yet I can look back on what was with peace and a smile.

Tomorrow will mark the 2nd anniversary of the day I walked out on my old life with tear-stained eyes and Sherri at my side. That Attorney was right “You know when it’s over, someone just needs to call it.” I made the call and with a few text messages I was looking at apartments. I was looking at what could be. In truth I was scared to death, I rarely leap without a place to fall. It took alot to leave my ex husband, he did everything for me and gave me more than a girl could ask for. We had our good times and bad times. However in the end there was not enough good to chase away the bad. The bad piles trampled on the good and the sweet moments slipped away into heart ache. Nylan was the main source of my happiness, I put everything I had into that kid. I have always said “It was easy to walk away from Scott. But it hurt like hell to walk away from Nylan.” To start over I had to cut my ties and say good-bye. I had to leave motherhood behind. I had to figure out what it was like to be single.

Mostly I had to figure out what it was like to be me. I hadn’t been myself for five years. My heart proved to be my guide, turns out the real AJ was still there, deep inside she waited for me to find her. All it took was a little self-love and a sheer moment of courage to bring myself back. In the past two years I have grown more as a person than I ever thought possible. I found my passion and soared into my career. Finally, I am at the top of my game and reaping the benefits of my hard work. The confidence my ex husband took from me began to return and I stomped on his words. His last words have been my fuel. Fuel to prove to him and more so prove to myself that I can do it. That I can make it on my own.

Everything I have lived through has been a part of the plan. I realize now that my P.E. taught me I could survive whatever life threw at me and that I was strong. I just needed to listen to myself. The strength I gained from fighting for my life was the same strength I tapped into when my son died. That strength is what allowed me to turn the key on my past and walk out that door. The bad moments led to incredibly good things. Every tear I shed led me to where I am today.

My five years with Scott will always be apart of me. Deep down I want to believe that the Scott I fell in love with still exists within the shell. That the shell of a man who stood before me was hurting just like I was. He told me once “my greatest regret will always be that I didn’t get on that plane.” His greatest regret in life is that he wasn’t there to stand by my side on the day that our son died. That he didn’t have the courage to face the truth or more so the courage to face his grieving wife. He didn’t have the courage to love me through my darkest hour. His failure gave me the strength I needed to walk into the rest of my life. The life that was waiting patiently for me.

We are a collection of stories. Scott, Nylan, and Aloucious will always be apart of mine. He will always be the first man I loved, Nylan will always be my son, and Aloucious will be the baby I never got to hold. I could have skipped the pain and saved myself the heart ache. However I would have missed out on one of the greatest stories of my life. Because of the heart ache I became one incredible woman. The past two years have taught me that.

{Love Thy Farmer} Auntie Annie’s Fields

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So why did the chicken cross the road? I know that’s an age-old question, however I do believe I know the answer. Gone are the days of the small family farm. Farming has been modernized. We as Americans have found a way to grow our chickens quicker, bigger, and apparently better. The average size of a factory farm chicken is between 20 and 35 pounds. The chickens actually grow so big that their little legs snap under their body weight. Grocery store shelves are lines with chicken breasts the size of your head. Factory farm chickens graze on feed that is injected with growth hormones and antibiotics. We then turn around and eat that chicken. One has to question “How do the growth hormones and antibiotics affect the human body?” I dared to ask that question.

The further away we get from the farmer the less healthy our bodies become. Our health is connected to the food we eat. What we eat depends on the health of the land. I wanted healthy chickens that I could be happy about eating. Thanks to Google I came upon Auntie Annie’s fields. Auntie Annie’s Fields raise natural free range chickens on a small farm in Dundas Minnesota. The lucky chickens end up at Elizabeth and Ian’s farm. Here the chickens get to spend their days wondering the fields eating bugs, clover, and doing the things chickens do. They are not confined to a dark barn like on a factory farm, instead there coop is on wheels and is moved from field to field. Auntie Annie’s chickens get a lot of fresh air and room to roam. Keeping the flock small allows them to maintain the health of their birds and they do not need to use antibiotics like conventional producers.

I had the pleasure of Meeting Elizabeth and her adorable children when I picked up my chickens at the Northfield Farmers Market. Instantly I knew my chickens were going to be good. Why, because you can instantly tell when someone puts a lot of love and passion into their product. To Elizabeth these are not just chickens, she is raising good quality food that will nourish the soul. Elizabeth and Ian have mastered the art of growing food and that is something a factory farm will never do. Auntie Annie’s focuses on quality, not quantity. Unlike the factory farms that care more about profit than quality.

Not only do Elizabeth and Ian grow healthy chickens, they also dedicate a part of their land to be used by the Main street Project, which is making land and infrastructure available to aspiring Latino chicken farmers. Auntie Annie’s Fields gives Latino farmers access to land and creates economic opportunities for rural Latino families. Now that’s a farm I can stand behind.

Do you want some incredible chickens? I know you do! You can head on out to the farmers market in Northfield and say “Hi” to Elizabeth and her cute kids on the dates below:

The Riverwalk Market Fair is open 9 a.m.-2 p.m., and is right on the Cannon River in downtown Northfield. We’ll be there every other Saturday: 6/16, 6/23, 7/7, 7/21, 8/4, 8/18, 9/1, 9/15, 9/29, 10/13, 10/20, 10/27.

Don’t want to make a trip to Northfield? Lucky for you they travel to Minneapolis:

Minneapolis: every 3rd Sunday, June through October (6/17, 7/15, 8/19, 9/16, and 10/21). We’ll be in the Longfellow neighborhood, about a mile south of Lake Street, and about a mile west of the Mississippi River.

Want to know more about Auntie Annie’s Fields? Well then visit them on the web:

http://www.auntieanniesfields.com

So why did the chicken cross the road? It got tired of the factory farm and went to join the happy chickens at Auntie Annie’s Fields.

{For the Love of Cheese} Bass Lake Cheese Factory

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If you have found yourself without weekend plans I have a suggestion. Minnesota is right next to the dairy state and let me tell you “there is nothing like handcrafted Wisconsin Cheese!” The state of Wisconsin is littered with small family owned cheese factories and dairies. Lucky for us Minneapolis is pretty darn close to the Bass Lake Cheese Factory. I actually found Bass Lake a few years ago by accident. I got lost on my way to Somerset and stopped in for directions, now I go there on purpose.

Bass Lake Cheese factory has been a Wisconsin staple since 1918. Today the state of Wisconsin has less than 200 cheese factories, many of them are automated and no longer make cheese by hand. The old-fashioned traditions of cheese making are a live and well at Bass Lake. The Cheese Master continues to use traditional recipes and techniques to create an amazing variety. Hastings creamery supplies Bass Lake with the milk that is needed to create the different types of cheese. You can’t get more local than that, Bass Lake is truly a gem in the dairy state’s crown.

Have you ever wondered how long it takes to make a good quality cheese? I know I have. During my visit I chatted with the very friendly counter staff and they gave me a brief lesson in the art of cheese making. I learned that it typically takes about 8 hours to make cheese and that all cheese is actually white. Yellow was used if the cheese was of the cheddar variety and white signaled that the cheese was a jack. Today the same coloring system is still used to identify the different types of cheeses. No worries, the dye is vegetable based and is chemical free. “I like the sound of chemical free cheese, I want cheese in my cheese, not chemicals with my cheese.”

The staff at Bass Lake are very helpful and love to answer questions. If you have a question about a certain cheese or need help pairing it with wine just ask. Bass Lake is known for their Butter Jack, no butter is not in the cheese. Butter Jack is similar to Monterey Jack however it has a richer creamier flavor. They even have CHEESE CURDS! What, you’ve never heard of the curd before. Well then you’ve come to the right blog. Curds are cheese that has yet to be pressed into a solid block. You can eat cheese curds straight out of the bag or you can dip them in beer batter (Yes beer batter) and deep fry them. Trust me once you sink your teeth into a curd, you’ll never look at cheese the same way again. At Bass Lake curds come in plain or flavored. Plain curds make me a happy girl, however when I am feeling a bit daring I will go for the Cajun flavored curds.

In addition to fresh cheese Bass Lake offers made to order sandwiches, pizzas, soft serve ice cream and cool drinks. They have a good selection of beer and wine to go along with the cheese you bought. The factory also sells an array of jams, jellies, and syrups from local Wisconsin companies. The best part of the factory is the viewing window that looks into the factory. Yes, you can watch them make cheese and stroll through their collection of antique cheese making equipment. Bass Lake has a large deck outside and welcomes bikers. So why not get lost and find your way to the Bass Lake Cheese Factory.

If you don’t want to get lost, here is the address:
Bass Lake Cheese Factory
598 Valley View Trail
Somerset WI 54025

or visit them on the web: http://www.blcheese.com