Wow! January marked my 30th Birch Box. It’s hard to believe that 30 little boxes have graced my door step. Do I remember them all, heck no. Has it been fun receiving them, heck yes it has! Birch Box has introduced me to so many great brands and reminded me of a few old but good ones too!
As I have said before, I am loving the Birch Box sample choice option and add ons. Every month you can either choose a sample or select the curated box of the month. If neither of those tickle your fancy, then you my dear do not have to choose at all. I like to choose, so I always stock my email on sample choice day as its first come first serve, when they are gone its sad tears for you.
This month’s curated box peeked my interest as it included beauty products from Korea. I’ve heard a lot about Korean beauty products but was never brave enough to buy a full size product. The Korean Beauty box was the perfect choice for me.
“So Girlie! What did you get in your Korean Beauty Box!?”
Birch Box January 2016 – Korean Beauty
Re:P Bio Fresh Mask with Real Calming Herbs: This soothing mask uses organic herbs and kaolin clay to reduce redness and deeply cleanse pores.
————————-> I love a good mask, the name alone peeked my interest, and I slathered this baby on the day I got my box. It went on like a past, dried withing 10 minutes and washed off without leaving any residue behind. My skin felt soft and I noticed a slight reduction in the redness factor. I decide to share a Monday Night Mask shot with you lovelies.
IPKN Flash Cream Radiant Primer: Rich in fruit extracts, this nourishing SPF 15 primer creates a smooth, luminous canvas for makeup.
————————-> SPF is my go to BFF and I love any products that sneak it in. The primer went on smooth and absorbed quickly, I am not really sure if it made me luminous.
TONYMOLY Delight Tony Tint – Red: This lightweight lip color dries matte, flushed finish that lasts all day.
——————->The stain dried a little to quickly on my lips, I didn’t even get a chance to rub it in. I am not a fan.
Manefit Beauty Planner Cucumber Soothing + Moisturizing Mask: Infused with cucumber, this sheet mask soothes, tones, and restores moisture to dry skin.
Goodal Waterest First Essence: This high-tech formula includes hyaluronic acid and fermented lotus flower to help skin retain moisture.
Goodal Yerba Mate Bubble Peeling: removes dead skin for a brighter complexion.
Goodal Yerba Mate Cleansing foam: balances oil and detoxifies the skin.
I am so glad that I chose the Korean Beauty Box this month. I got introduced to a wide variety of K-Beauty products and learned which ones are worth investing in. It is always nice to have Birch Box as my guide in the uncharted territory of beauty and skin care products. Without them I would never have tried any of the products on my own.
Birch Box is a beauty and lifestyle subscription box program that costs $10.00 per month. For every dollar you spend in the shop you can earn 1 point. 100 points will get you a free birch box or $10 towards a purchase in the shop at birchbox.com. I know you’ve got friends so why not refer those friends to Birch box and earn a few points for doing so. If you would like to learn more and get a Birch Box of your very own go to http://www.birchbox.com for more information.
***I was not compensated for this post. Opinions are my own***
There is no perfect survival story and there is no guidebook called “how to live your second chance.” Life is messy, it’s a beautiful disaster. Some survivors chose to curl up in a ball and wish the world away. Others are filled with anger and they become bitter with age. Some simply give up before they give them selves a chance to rise. Then there are the ones like me, a special breed who doesn’t deal with the mental/ emotional aspect of what happened, yet they want to change the world.
When you survive the doctors do a really good job at taking care of your body. Your mind and soul are left with you to repair, as they do not have time for that. They simply cannot mend what they cannot see.
Trauma leaves scars behind. Pulmonary Embolisims and Strokes take pieces of your soul and if you survive they leave you with survivors guilt. I’ve spent more days than I can count wondering why me and why not her? Why am I allowed to take a seat at the table while so many women are asked to leave? Fate she amazes me, maybe she saw something in me that I didn’t see in myself. Maybe she knew that I would grow in a moment of darkness.
I never looked at my PE and stroke as a tramatic event, for me it was a horrible event that I wanted to stuff in my pocket. I wanted to get back to normal as soon as possible, it never crossed my mind that I needed to deal with the mental and emotional side of survivorhood. In my eyes I was doing a really good job at running from my emotions and memories. My back pocket held my PE, the Stroke, Lucia, Divorce, and Charlie. As long as they stayed in my back pocket I was safe. I believed whole heartedly in the old adage “out of sight, out of mind.”
A soul can only carry so much disaster before its seems break. My seems burst long ago, I was living on patches, throwing myself into my work and crying my tears into the muppet like dogs fur. When I turned 32, I knew something had to give, I thought “therapy is only for the crazies and for those who can’t get their fucking little ducks in a row.” My ducks were lined up in size order, my exterior was iron clad, and crazy, ha I probably am but hey that’s ok who isn’t a little off these days.
Research, I checked the health partners sight to see what my plan covered,Watercourse is where I landed. Turns out they were right around the corner from my apartment, I had driven by their office for years. I slowly dialed there number, a nice lady answered, she asked if I had a couple minutes, I said yes. I unfolded the items hidden in my back pocket, she repeatedly said “you poor thing,” and promised to match me with a therapist. I was sceptical and hesitant, a few days later they called, her name was Emily. My first appointment was scheduled. I was ashamed to tell my friends “hey I’m gonna go see a therapist so I can learn how to deal with my shit.”
Walking into Watercourse I was in denial and skeptical about therapy. Mostly I was afraid she would tell me “you are insane, here is the name of a psychiatrist.” No one wants to be told they are crazy. Emily didn’t tell me I was crazy, instead she asked me question after question and with each answer the items in my back pocket unfolded into the room. She started to build a picture of my past and my survival mechanism “put it in a box and deal with it another day.”
Bottling up emotions is not the answer. Eventually the top is going to fly off and you will end up in a puddle of tears on your appartment floor. Trust me I know about this kind of thing. Emily understood the road I was walking on and through guided conversation we traced each step. We discussed how I don’t always have to be perfect, she told me “it’s ok for you to have bad days too.” Emily was the first person in 6 years to tell me that it is ok to have bad days or off days or any kind of day I want. Everyone else acted like I shouldn’t complain or have a bad day, instead I should be grateful that I am alive.
I am grateful to be alive, I know that a few minutes could have given me a different ending. I am a stubborn survivor, help is something I rarely ask for. In my mind asking for help is a weakness and shows your flaws. Emily made me realize that we all need a little help and that people want to be needed. I am so used to being the helper that I put my own needs aside. I do everything on my own, including driving myself to the ER, because I don’t want to inconvenience anyone or ruin their day. Which I wouldn’t recommend you do, ask for help, don’t be like me. Then again I have turned a new leaf and have learned its ok to ask for help. Jay can attest to this as he has taken me to the ER about 3 times now and carries heavy things for me. I am still not great at it, but I am learning that it’s ok to not always be the helper.
I’ve been seeing Emily for over a year now and she has helped me immensely. Not only have we delt with survivorhood but we delt with Lucia too. Everyone says “oh you will have more children,” without knowing those words cut through me like a knife. A grieving mother doesn’t want those words, she wants her children. When a plus sign showed up in May I was terrified and did not want to get to attached to the contents of my uterus. She let me know that these feelings were perfectly ok and that with time they will fade. That I didn’t have to be afraid of an ultrasound machine and that I have a right to demand that we handle this pregnancy my way.
That + sign slowly turned into an empty sac, I was crushed. I felt defeated that my rainbow eluded me. Emily helped me deal with my emotions and fears when it was determined that a D&C was the best course of action. Without her help I probably would never have gone through with it. We talked about the procedure and that it was ok for me to speak up if I didn’t like something or if something felt off, after all it is my uterus. I did my research and found a doctor who understood what I had gone through and he promised he would take every precaution he could to protect my uterus. He did just that and he said “I have no doubt that you will carry a baby.” Those are the only words I needed to hear, that I can have babies too.
A perfect storm, the past 6 almost 7 years has been waves of disaster. Between each wave I found calm and enjoyed the beauty in the silence before the next one came crashing down on me. I was sailing in a beautiful disaster. My boat on the outside her haul was perfect, but on the inside my engine was slowing burning out. Therapy helped me really examin each wave, to realize that there was nothing I could have done to avoid them and we cannot simply see in to the future. If I did manage to avoid each wave my life would be drastically different and I wouldn’t be me.
The biggest lesson I learned is this: it’s ok to seek out a therapist. Sometimes one goes through so much that she needs another soul to help her deal with it. I had no idea where this therapy journey would take me, I just went in with a semi closed mind and came out stronger than ever. The doctors they fixed my heart and lungs, but Emily she mended the one thing they couldn’t fix, she mended my soul.
We are all in this together.
Mental health is often overlooked when it comes to heart and stroke patients. So many doctors only concentrate on the physical and leave their patients to struggle through the why mes, the what ifs, and other questions that plague survivorhood. The thing is we do not have to go it alone talk to your doctor, let then know about your struggles. Because one’s mental health plays a huge part in their recovery. If your mind is not in the game, then your heart surely won’t follow.
We should be counting down the days, the days until you arrive. I should be injecting myself for the last time and giving myself a pep talk for the impending c-section. We should be excitedly expecting a CoraLeigh or Olivier. Jay and I should be double checking the woodland themed nursery, the car seat, hospital bags, making sure we have enough dinosaurs and welcoming family as they excitedly arrive. “Do we have enough diapers and wipes and blankets and clothes? Did we baby proof the house enough? Oh God! Did we prepare the cats and muppet like dog for the arrival of their human sibling?” Those are the things we should be asking.
Those things are not being asked and checked. Our dream lost its steam on July 7, 2015, Baby E was never meant to be ours. Only a sac developed, it stood empty on the screen, no fetal pole or yolk took up residence, it was the little sac that couldn’t. But our sac held answers, the Doctor says that two sperm fertilized one egg, and that a human only needs 46 chromosomes, not 69. Our baby was a perfect genetic accident, it was just never meant to be ours.
If you know me well, then you know I have a mad love for dinosaurs. This was to be Baby E’s going home outfit with a cardigan and pants of course.
Baby E was an easier pill to swallow, because I had a why behind the “I’m sorry.” With Lucia there was no why or how, he was just gone. His little light went out before it even got a chance to pierce the darkness, Baby E’s light never got a chance to start. My love for them pierces the heavenly skies and paints the colors of the sunrise. My babies they will always be.
I like to believe that Baby E found Lucia in heaven. That my babies are together, playing and waiting for their parents to arrive. That God has a soft spot for babies with to many chromosomes and that Lucia is breaking in his big brother shoes and watching over Baby E. Those two, thou small made a huge impact on this world. They are loved and cherished beyond measure. Lucia is my parent’s first grand child and Baby E is the forth. My parents are looking forward to a fifth, for they are eagerly waiting for us to catch a rainbow.
Baby E is Jay’s first, I have to believe that my third time and Jay’s second time will be the charm. That Jay and I will catch our rainbow and bring a baby home. I’ve picked up a few baby items here and there, I want to make it known to the universe that we would like a baby to put into the clothes and swaddle in the blankets. The stork can drop one off on our doorstep any day now, we are not picky, well even take a freckle face ginger child.
We have hope that one day we will have a viable pregnancy. Jay and I have picked out names for our future child. Our girl name is CoraLeigh Rae and our boy name Olivier James. I know what you are thinking ” knowing AJ, there has to be a story behind these names!?” There is and there are stories.
Ms. Cora M. Linderman 1897 – 1994
One day if God grants us the chance to have a daughter CoraLeigh Rae will be named after three people she will never meet. Cora is in honor of the oldest woman I ever knew. She died at 97, 3 years short of her goal to live to 100. Frankly Cora was the best friend a litter girl could ever ask for. Ms. Cora Linderman was a Swedish immigrant, she was the first telephone operator to give instructions for CPR over the phone, she taught me how to play dominos and spent hours entertaining me with her stories, she was mine and I was simply hers. Leigh, is in honor of my Dad’s sister Cherrie Leigh, a woman with a large heart who died to young. An finally her middle name Rae comes from a wild attorney named Charlie Rae, a man whose dream ended far to soon. I want my future daughter to be named after strong individuals because her name will carry their legacy.
I’ve carried a boy and his name is Alucious Gregory, we simply call him Lucia. That name is unique and it is perfectly his. This time I went with an older name, one with strength and meaning. My family started in France, voyagers who crossed the sea, so Olivier was the perfect fit and spelling. Yes I went with the French spelling of the name Oliver. Plus ya know I have a deep dark secret desire of yelling “Olly Olly Oxen Free” at my future son. We’ll call him Olly for short. James comes from my father it is his middle name. It made sense because Lucia’s middle name is my dad’s first name, so if it isn’t broke just continue the tradition on.
My three children togther. The Blue star is for Lucia and the Purple is for Baby E
Jay and I make a point to talk about “when we have a baby,” it helps ease the pain and gives us something to look forward to. I have to believe that God isn’t cruel and that he would not deny me motherhood. I have faith that our rainbow is just on the horizon. One day I will have a due date. One day nine months of blood thinner injection, scans, and constant doctor visits will be worth it. One day I will have a c-section and we will cross the finish line with a baby in our arms as Lucia and Baby E watch over us from heaven.
After we lost baby E, I was searching for a connection with other angel mommies and a friend suggested I follow the “I am a mother to an Angel” Facebook page. I took up her suggestion and hit like, I also joined the private group “Awaiting Rainbows: TTC after a loss.” The ladies in this group were lovely and it let me know I wasn’t the only one struggling to catch a rainbow.
Five years ago I was treading the waters of grief on my own, none of my friends had lost babies before and no one understood my journey. You never get over the death of a child, you just learn how to live with it. My heart has a hole and his name is Lucia, it became bigger on the day Baby E joined him in heaven. Never in a million years did I think I would have two children in heaven, their deaths were decided the moment I was born, it was written in the cards and fate she is the only one who knows what my hand holds. I no longer question their departure and I will play my hand until the last card is on the table. Each day I face the sun with gratitude and a peaceful heart.
So many young women are just starting out on the road called grief. Many question and shout why me, why my baby. Those women need to be told that it will be ok and sometimes we don’t have an answer. They need to hear it from a mother who has walked this path before, they need to know she survived, and mostly that she caught her rainbow. In the Awaiting Rainbows group I was an old sage, offering internet hugs and quietly typing “it’s ok, you never get over the death of a child, you just learn how to live with it” into the comments of their posts. We got excited when someone announced they were pregnant and answered each others questions on TTC.
Every now and then you’d see a member disappear, “she got banned” someone said. The group Admins watch the page like a hawk and without warning if they do not like your tone or your posts or your comments you are out of there. The creator of “I am a mother to an Angel” claims that all of her groups are inclusive and supportive of its members. If this were true then Admins would not be banning members for their tone, comments or for merely reporting a member for being repetitive and offensive.
If you ask me the ladies of “Awaiting Rainbows/I am a mother” are selective, she is creating the type of group she wants, one where everything is sparkles and sunshine, and not the group women need. Grief is not perfect. Not all trying to conceive journies are perfect or end up with a live birth. Life is messy, grief is messy, and sometimes trying to catch a rainbow is messy too.
One day you will realize that the women you banned are the women who needed your support the most and you turned your back on them.
I received the Influenster #HumidifyMe Voxbox in early November. I was thrilled when I got the email saying my humidifier was on its way. Humidifiers are a requirement when battling the dry Minnesota winter air, plus they make the cold/flu season bareable.
The Honeywell cool moisture humidifier has a stylish design with the tank in back, rather than on the side. The humidifier is so quiet that I forget that its on. The water tank is brake resistant and it has a wide opening for easy filling & cleaning. It will run up to 18 hours and has 2 speed settings.
I am in love with this humidifier. I never thought I would say something like this but I am in love with it. It is so easy to fill, I just pop off the top, throw it under the tap, and plop it back on to the unit. I don’t have to struggle with a side container or crazy filter, it’s just one, two, back to moist air please. I would highly recommend this model to anyone who doesn’t like a lot of noise while they slumber. You will forget that you have this little bad boy running, it is literally that quiet. Bonus the little power indication light is not blaringly bright so you my dear won’t even notice that either. You will have beautiful moist air sleeps.
Go on now, go on out and get yourself one! You know you want moist air in your life!!
I received these products complimentary from Influenster for testing purposes.
“A defining line here. A splash of color there. Every woman has her own unique way of showing the beauty within her. At Walmart, you’ll discover the latest products and most trusted brands at our low prices. Every day.”
Hello Winter! Wait Winter, where are you? The ground is still brown, there is no ice, traffic is a breeze, and snow storms are missing. Oh winter you decided to take a vacation and miss Minnesota this year, well that is just fantastic! Merry Christmas Winter, Merry Christmas. Winter has been mild in Minnesota and I could not be happier. Digging yourself out after snowstorms gets a little old, as does being stuck on the freeway for hours because someone forgot how to drive in the wintery conditions.
Walmart shelves are loaded down with Christmas decorations, gift sets, and of course toys. We cannot forget the TOYS, toys for big kids and little ones alike. I am a fan of the Pioneer Woman Collection, kitchen toys are always a safe buy and well new beauty products too. Tis the season to try something new and refreshing. My winter box arrived just in time, the weatherman claims its going to start snowing here and the temps are about to drop. Which means I will be in search of new products to keep the dreaded winter dry skin at bay.
“So AJ what did you get in your Winter Walmart box?”
Winter 2015
Pure Silk Rich & Luxurious Shave Cream: This smooth shave cream will moisturize, soften and nourish your skin as you shave, leaving your skin feeling pampered. With a fresh Raspberry Mist scent, this lather shave cream contains no CFCs and is packaged in a rust-proof aluminum can.
Pantene Pro-V Style Series Hairspray: Supports your hair’s structure to help hold a touchable style all day without weighing it down.
Goody Slide proof elastics: is a line of everyday stylish accessories designed to provide all-day mazimum hold. These accessories fit securely without sacrificing style and are the perfect accessory to keep hair looking its best throughout the day.
NSPA Exotically Creamy Coconut Rich Body Butter: Indulge your senses with NSPA Exotically Creamy Coconut Rich Body Butter packed with natural vitamins and real fruit goodness to deeply nourish skin, leaving it healthier looking and feeling velvety soft.
Dial 7 day Moisturizing lotion – Omega Moisture: leaves your skin looking and feeling younger, healthier and more beautiful. With seven bionutrients, including vitamins and minerals as well as honey extract, your skin receives the daily dose of nutrition it needs.
Neutrogena Healthy Skin Boosters Facial Cleanser: Its rich, cushioning formula cleanses skin without over-drying. It gently washes away dull surface skin cells, revealing new refreshed healthy skin. Infused with antioxidant white tea and vitamin E, this moisturizing scrub formula boosts three signs of healthy-looking skin: softness, evenness, and radiance.
The winter Walmart box was over all super. A lot of ladies received what felt like odds and ends, I however received a nice lot of samples. Two of the products the Dial lotion and Nuetrogena cleanser are repeat products for me, but who cares, I will totally use them up. A girl can never have to many hair ties, travel size bottles of shave gel and hairspray, so this box totally worked for me.
Do you want a $5.00 quarterly Walmart Beauty Box of your very own. Oh! Come on now, get over yourself and hop on over to https://beautybox.walmart.com. Your box is waiting for you and trust me you will not regret that you signed up! The box ships every three months and the next box will be winter.
***I was not compensated for this post. Reviews are my own.*****
“No matter how many years go by, we still get a fizz of incitement around the holidays. Family traditions, twinkly lights, pillars of beautifully wrapped presents…the anticipation is half the fun! This holiday, feel free to open one gift early-your December Birchbox. Its filled with beauty treats picked just for you, all wrapped up in a cozy chic holiday pattern.”
Ahh the Holidays are here! If you know me well, then you know I put my Christmas tree up on November 1st and that I have more ornaments than I know what to do with. Christmas is magical, miracles are in the air and kindness is abundant. Every heart is glowing with a light that cannot be described, even the Grinchiest man on earth cannot hide from the Christmas spirit. As I get old holiday parties become fewer and fewer, which I am totally ok with. I rather spend the weekends decorating cookies with my niece, grabbing coffee with dear friends and cuddling on the couch with Jay. Oh and the muppet like dog too, I could never forget my fuzzy little cuddle buddy.
If you ask me December is one of the best Birchbox months. They always go out of their way to make the Holiday boxes a little bit more special than the rest. The boxes are always perfectly dressed and the samples are well they are still the same. Birchbox is kind of like a box of chocolates, you never know what you are going to get until you click on the sneak peek link. I always peek before my box arrives.
“Hey girl! What did you get in your All Wrapped Up Box?!”
All Wrapped Up
Beauty Protector – Protect & Detangle: This best-selling elixir that locks in color, protects from heat damage, and adds silkiness.
Catherine Malandrino – Romance de Provence: An ode to Provence, this timeless scent mixes fruity and floral nuances with vanilla and patchouli.
Costal Scents styleEyes shadow Palette – formalEyes: A bold, beautiful eye shadow palette in always-fashionable pinks and mauves.
Soap & Paper Factory – Shea butter hand cream in Green Tea: A rich cream moisturizer that soothes even the driest of hands, in a fresh, gentle green tea scent.
The Beauty Crop – Lighting Crew Highlight Cream: Full of natural antioxidants this highlighted cream is perfect under foundation or body lotion for a luminous glow.
This wasn’t my greatest December box, it wasn’t great, but it wasn’t bad either. I was expecting more holiday charm or sparkles or something festive to be included in the boxes.
Birch Box is a beauty and lifestyle subscription box program that costs $10.00 per month. For every dollar you spend in the shop you can earn 1 point. 100 points will get you a free birch box or $10 towards a purchase in the shop at birchbox.com. I know you’ve got friends so why not refer those friends to Birch box and earn a few points for doing so. If you would like to learn more and get a Birch Box of your very own go to http://www.birchbox.com for more information.
***I was not compensated for this post. Opinions are my own***
“We’ve waited all year for this. Our December collection sees the long-awaited launch of a liquid-to-matte lip mousse developed with the help of thousands (thank you!). We’re pretty sure it’s our best lippy yet and we can’t wait to hear what you think about the final result. Pre-work coffee with a fave friend, white elephant gift lunch at the office, happy hour, date night, dinner, dancing, holiday brunch… Social energy runs hot this month and our December polish palette is ready to party.”
I have fallen back in love with Julep and the completely customizable Maven Box. If I do not like a product or a nail color, I can just swap it out for another product or shade. As far as I am aware Julep is the only company offering a totally customizable subscription box experience. The price did go from $19.99 to $24.99, having the ability to chose my products is worth the extra five bucks.
“So What products did you pick for your December Maven Box!?”
Oh, I am so glad you asked!
All Night Long
Feels Like Velvet Eyeshadow in Champagne and Caviar: Metallic pink nude & mocha shimmer. Blends effortlessly with a weightless finish and creates effortless eye looks when worn together—or each on their own.
It’s Whipped – Bisou: Modern Mauve hydrating, liquid-to-matte mousse that glides on mess-free, grips for all day vibrancy, and has a weightless finish.
Shader Brush: This versatile brush features fine, soft, synthetic bristles that allow for smooth, controlled application and flawless blending.
I used 400 Jules to add on a polish for free. I added on Rayma: Italian plum crème
Decembers collection was beautiful and I am so glad to have a matte lip gloss that I love. Before this one I was in a love hate relationship with matte gloss, a lot of them dry out to quickly and the color has a short life span. The Julep whipped delivered and I am one happy girl. The eye shadow is also lovely and easy to blend. I am so glad I chose the eye shadow and whipped, my box was totally me and I am in love with the new customization feature.
After your Welcome Box, the contents of your monthly Maven Box depend on the program you signed up for. Each My Maven Box includes over $40 worth of new beauty innovations and/or limited-run nail colors. We create at least five new boxes every month—one for each Style Profile, plus monthly exclusives. If you have a fully customizable subscription, you can personalize your box by picking exactly what you want.
To get a box of your very own visit wwww.julep.com for more information.
***I was no compensated for my post. Opinions are my own***
“We can no longer pretend we’re at the tail end of summer—it’s time our beauty routines lean into cold months. Fall 2015 is crushing it with updated texture (more on that in a minute), and skincare calls for extra love & protection.”
Julep was my gateway drug into a wonderful magical world of subscription boxes. This is actually my first box in well over a year, I stopped ordering for a while because I had more bottles of polish than I had toes. I wasn’t using it as fast as I thought I would and their beauty products did not peak my fancy. Plus there was the whole new warehouse and shipping issue saga, no one wants to remember that, it was a dark time in subscription box land. I waited out the dark time, Julep fixed the quirks and started listening to their Mavens, because well, Maven’s are always right.
The Switch-Up Collection
What Your Skin Needs: is a lightweight treatment milk infused with five potent oils to hydrate and replenish skin. Just in time for winter’s harsh bluster on our sweet faces, this restorative facial milk is a seasonally on-point addition to the daily routine—under moisturizer, before makeup.
———————> My skin is in a hot hot romance with this lightweight magical moisturizing milk. At first I was confused by the package, confusion was shot lived, you dispense the product with an eye dropper, its old school and cool. The milk absorbs quickly into the skin and does not leave a greasy heavy feeling behind. I use it at night and I wake up to incredibly soft morning skin, it is now my go to moisturizer.
Take a Breather: Oxygen Nail Treatment has a new name and a new sparkler in the family. Take a Breather adds a third option, a subtle shimmer, to the classic pink and chic ivory shades that have been healing and hardening nails between manicures since 2013.
———————> I am not a nail polish on my fingers kind of girl, I don’t even do nude shades, so this product is my go to. The classic pink has taken a back seat to the new shimmer. My nails are now a little scandalous with their shimmery coat.
Color Treat: Julep’s Breakthrough Oxygen Technology powers this fast-drying, long-lasting nail polish to get nails healthy and more beautiful at the same time. Our proprietary 5-free, vegan-friendly formula also includes strengthening Hexanal and antioxidant green coffee extract. You’ll never look at nail polish the same way again.
Aubrey: Rosewood shimmer
Cheyenne: Auburn matte metallic
Melody: Iridescent high gloss glitter top coat
After your Welcome Box, the contents of your monthly Maven Box depend on the program you signed up for. Each My Maven Box includes over $40 worth of new beauty innovations and/or limited-run nail colors. We create at least five new boxes every month—one for each Style Profile, plus monthly exclusives. If you have a fully customizable subscription, you can personalize your box by picking exactly what you want.
To get a box of your very own visit wwww.julep.com for more information.
***I was no compensated for my post. Opinions are my own***
One email told me that my settlement check had been cut and mailed out. I knew that the post office closed at 5PM, so today wasn’t going to be my ending. I got home at 5:10, breezed past my Birchbox and opened the mail box to find the all important “we missed you card.” The back of the card said the post office was open til 5:30 PM, it was 5:10, I knew I could make it and I did with 8 minutes to spare. Damn it door is locked, I show the man looking out the window my card. He opens it a crack to tell me they are closed, I explained “sir the back of the card says 5:30.” He points to the hours on the door, the door says Close 5:00 PM and 3:30 PM on Saturdays, again I pointed to what the card said. He explained he was the supervisor and they were closed. I had come so close, yet so far from being done.
I could feel the tears fighting through, I looked at the man and said “Sir, I have been waiting six years for this letter, I know waiting one more day won’t hurt, but you see Sir that letter is my closure, its a settlement check, a check I’ve been waiting six years to see. He started to notice the tear rolling down my cheek, he said “here let me look at that, I don’t normally make exceptions, just wait here ok. He closed the door and disappeared inside, he emerged a few minutes later and told me to come in. In his hand was the letter with a logo I have seen dozens of times, but today it meant it was all over, I just needed to sign and closure would finally be mine. I tearfully thanked him for making the exception, explaining he has no idea what his kindness meant to me.
The tears began to fall, I sat in the drivers seat holding the envelope in my hands, quickly realizing that my tears were staining the envelope, I figured I should probably open it. I did, never in a million years did I think I would see this day. Never in a million years did I think I would see a check. It was just this distant far away untouchable thing, that was never meant to be mine. Yet, there it was in my hands, my name was spelled correctly, its mine and mine alone. I was never in this for the money, I am humbled by what I received. The check doesn’t take away what happened or undo the past six years or bring back my son, but in some way it validates that what happened to me was wrong. Merck never had to admit wrong doing, they will not be held accountable for the deaths or thousands of injuries that the Nuva Ring caused, they simply just had to payout and walk away to operate another day.
I never signed up to get rich, I wanted to stand up for myself and to prevent this from happening to anyone else. Having your life change in seconds scars you, it changes you in ways words cannot begin to describe. If I would have known that this little plastic ring would bring me to the brink of death, I would have left it on the prescription pad and asked my doctor for something else. We as humans cannot see into the future nor can we relive the past, we are in this haze called the here and now, it holds us and comforts us, in away it protects us from the journey ahead. Because if we knew our road was going to be lined with pot holes, tears, and fear, we would stop traveling and stay just as we are. October 22, 2009 taught me more lessons than I could ever begin to explain, it taught me to fight for myself and to always listen to my body, because she will never steer me wrong. It taught me to love my friends like sisters, to cherish my family, to dance on the good days and to fight on the bad. Faith is something I always have, as long as she is at my back, I will face the wind and sail the angry seas.
Survival is a funny thing, you go through phases and it is an ever changing sea, no wave nor current is the same. There are moments where I feel guilty because I lived and someone else’s daughter died. One out of five people will survive a pulmonary embolism with infarction, one out of five is a shitty equation if you ask me. I feel guilty that I have no long term physical or cognitive side affects from my Stroke. I see other stroke survivors struggling and my heart breaks, I know why my out come was different than there’s and it kills me inside to know that if they had received TPA there outcome most likely would have been like mine. I am forever in debt to my Woodwinds care team, One question saved me, if the doctor never paused to ask “are you on a birth control,” my mom would have picked out my urn instead of my 27th Halloween themed birthday cake. Woodwinds will always have a place in my heart, because its where my second story began.
Looking back my second story has been a beautiful disaster. A disaster that is mine and mine alone, I would not trade this journey for anything in the world. On October 22, 2009 I had no idea that one moment would lead me to give a speech on the capital steps in front of members of congress. I had no idea that I would be come a You’re the Cure Advocate and lobby in Washington D.C., I had no idea that I would be a voice that would help get the MN Stroke System of Care passed and funded. I had no Idea that I would be a Go Red Spokeswoman who shined on billboards and a public service announcement. Money doesn’t matter, using your story to make a difference is how you fight back, fighting back is what matters. Merck may never have to admit their wrong doing, but I can tell the world what happened to me, through my story I can save another woman’s life. I can get her to think about her heart health, her risks, and get her to ask her doctor questions, questions that will lead to answers that will improve her quality of care and ultimately her quality of life.
I am who I am because of Merck and the Nuva Ring, they will always be apart of me. In one moment of disaster I found my purpose and I am never leaving my soap box. But the thing is behind every thriving survivor is an amazing village of supporters. I am so grateful to have the worlds greatest best friends, Sherri, Jilliann, Lisa, and Tara never left my side, on the bad days they picked me up and pushed me to go a little bit further. My parents, they are the rock in which I build my house upon, they gave me strength when I had none. My Mama always looked over my INR numbers and medication lists to make sure the doctors were treating me correctly. My Dad and I are like two little old men sitting on a porch discussing chest pain and the days gone by where we could run and fight to live another day. Now we just sit in our rockers and watch the world go by, running is for the young folks and well neither of us would win a fight. My dad has rescued me from more tight spots than I can count, he’s never seen the ocean, he made damn sure that I traveled the globe not once but twice, so I am paying it forward, I am taking my Dad to the seashore, I want him to feel the mist and to stand on the edge of the world.
I got a chance to be the Auntie that I was always meant to be. Sophia and Jack could be learning about me from old photos and their mama’s memories. Because of early intervention and research their Auntie was saved, they get to hold her hand. The day I became an Auntie is the day my heart healed, Sophia and I have been bonded since day one, little Jack is learning all about super Auntie. Those two have my heart and there will always be a surprise for them in my purse. Sophia and Jack are why, there tomorrows are what I am fighting for. Both of them deserve to grow up in a world free of heart disease and stroke.
Second Chances are far from perfect. Lucia was to be the sun after my storm. Instead God had other plans and just as before the winds of change blew through and I had to sail the waves of grief. Losing Lucia allowed me to put myself first, I called it quits and walked out of my loveless marriage. Divorce was not an end, it was merely a beginning. I traded the ex-husband in for a little muppet like dog, which is one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. You can never go wrong with a dog. On a hot August day a small white dog with a big gray nose rescued a human and he never looked back. Cullen became the glue that kept me together, as long as I had him at my side, I was never alone. Together we took on uptown, strolled through the parks and picked up glass on the beach. Cullen has provided me with endless laughter, he makes the bad days brighter and life is more fun with a muppet like dog at my side. Cullen was the love that my heart needed.
Love found its way in, Charlie will always be apart of me, I think that in away Charlie knew that he was not my forever, only a mere moment. He allowed me to be, to heal, and to find myself. Charlie allowed me to believe in love again and when he died, my heart broke. Yet I knew Charlie wanted me to carry on with living and not be stuck in the land of what if. I had to break before I could shine. Jay fell into my in box at the perfect time, my heart it was ready to love again. Jay’s love was the glue that my heart needed. With each date I began to fall for him. In Jay I found home, he has my heart and I have his. Jay joined me on the tail end of the Nuva Ring law suit journey, I am glad that he is at the end, because together we can turn the page and walk away to start a new chapter. Because this is only the beginning the best is yet to come.
There were moments where I wanted to throw in the towel and give up this fight. But then I looked in the mirror, I faced a woman who lived through the worst day possible. She never thought the birth control she took would almost take her life. She was weary and weathered, yet she still faced the sun. Her womb carried children she never met, yet she still has faith that one day she will hold a baby in her arms. Her heart was broken and jaded, yet she still manages to love. Little did she know, she just had to break before I could shine. I am living on borrowed time, my life it is a beautiful disaster and each day I am standing above ground means that the best is yet to come.
Merck you may have won this battle, but the war, it rages on. I will not give up until there are none, because no woman deserves to fight alone.
Have Bear Will Travel 