{Ojibway} The Seventh Generation

Posted on October 15, 2011 by NinjaInTheCity

I am a lover of cardigans and wear specs in a contact lens kind of world. On the outside I look white. However I am anything but. I am the daughter of an Irish Ojibway Indian and a German. Greatful to be raised in the traditions of the past and strong enough to make a difference. A difference in the lives of reservation kids. Working hard to abolish mascots and raising awareness of Native American culture and history. This is my path and it is one I walk proudly on.

Walking this road can be hard some days. It is not easy, the stigmas of the past still present in the modern world. Living with the knowledge that my Grandfather was taken from his mother. Why, because someone believed “Kill the Indian, save the child.” He was robbed of his language, his hair cut, and his buck skins traded in for rough cotton clothes. He was told “you are no longer Red Squirrel. You are now Clifford Raymond.” My Grandfather was forced to believe in a bible that he didn’t understand. His way of life was no longer.

My grandfather was lost in the western way of life. He like most Indian’s turned to the bottle. Inside he found comfort and the pain it started to fade with each sip. He managed to marry an Irish woman, fathered 13 children, and tried to run a farm. Farming wasn’t his thing he had more kids than he could care for. Yet, he did the best he could. Thats what any lost Indian does. When they aren’t knee-deep in the bottle they do the best they can to survive.

Indian people are resilient. They can make nothing into something and still believe in a better day. I am part of the seventh generation. Our ancestors predicted that the seventh generation would unite the people and bring change to the land. We are doing that. Change is rising each day. Each day a child on the reservation chooses education over a life of addiction. With each diploma, with each child who comes back and makes a difference. Who leads their reservation into the modern world. I am a part of that change motivating our youth to seek college and to change the world around them. Teaching ACT prep to the students via Skype and in person. Often meeting in the school or casino banquet halls. These kids are our future and words cannot describe how bright it is. Offering kind words and parenting skills to parents during visitation monitoring sessions. Lending an ear to a battered woman and whispering it will be all right into a child’s ear.

They may be broken, worn out, and down on their luck. However these are my people and I will be damned if I turn my back on them. I am who I am because of my ancestors who died in the name of justice. My great uncles started the first Indian run news paper in the 1920’s called the Tomahawk. To this day it is the oldest Native American run paper in the country. My other great-uncle was the first Indian to be appointed to the bench. Serving as a federal judge. He is my inspiration and the reason why I love the law. My great great Grandmother is chief Skywoman the only female war chief of the Ojibway nation. Her blood runs through me and her legacy is the reason I am here. She believed in a better day where her people would be free.

That better day has come and the time is now. I am living proof that times change. I am proud to be a biracial woman and proud of my Ojibway heritage. The Ojibway people ground me, their stories entertain me, and mostly they remind me to fight for what I believe in. To never give up and to walk the red road. A road lined with tears and broken whiskey bottles, one that only Indians can tread upon. That is the road I chose. My Grandfather suffered and endured so that I could achieve the American dream. I owe it to my Grandfather to stand tall and help those around me reach that dream.

Steve Jobs ~ Square Pegs In Round Holes

Posted on October 7, 2011 by NinjaInTheCity

I am a firm believer that every human has the ability to change the world. Steve Jobs is proof of that. He had a dream, a vision, and dared to veer from his charted course. In the end he created brilliance and put technology into our hands.

Steve Jobs dared to look beyond the ordinary and taught us to accept the extraordinary. He said the following “live with the knowledge that you are dying. Do this and you will never forget to dream.”

Those are words to live by. Never forget to dream, challenge the status quo, and change the world.

{Hearts} On 22

Posted on September 23, 2011 by NinjaInTheCity

I am so proud to be bringing you this feature every month. Hearts on 22 is well as you can guess very close to my heart. This is my way of helping you live the best life you can. I am a firm believer in living life with your heart wide open and taking care of yourself. You only have one body and one heart so please take care of it.

Heart Healthy Recipe of the Month:

for more heart healthy recipes please visit:
Morning Mojito
Dietitian’s tip:
The traditional mojito is created with a sweet syrup flavored with fresh lime juice and crushed fresh mint. This super-citrusy nonalcoholic version also includes orange and grapefruit juices.

By Mayo Clinic staff

Serves 6
Ingredients
1/2 cup dark honey
1/2 cup fresh lime juice
1/2 cup firmly packed fresh mint leaves
2 cups fresh grapefruit juice, chilled
2 cups fresh orange juice, chilled
2 teaspoons grated lime zest
1 lime, cut into 6 slices

Directions
In a small saucepan, combine the honey and lime juice. Bring to a boil over medium heat. Add the mint leaves and remove from the heat. Steep the honey mixture for 5 minutes, then pass the mixture through a fine-mesh sieve placed over a bowl, pressing down lightly on the leaves with the back of a wooden spoon. Refrigerate the syrup until cold.

In a large pitcher, combine the mint syrup, grapefruit and orange juices, and lime zest. Stir until the syrup is dissolved.

Pour into tall, chilled glasses and garnish each glass with a lime slice.

Heart Healthy Living Tip:

Warning Signs of Stroke

Women may report unique stroke symptoms:

•sudden face and limb pain
•sudden hiccups
•sudden nausea
•sudden general weakness
•sudden chest pain
•sudden shortness of breath
•sudden palpitations
Call 9-1-1 immediately if you have any of these symptoms
Every minute counts for stroke patients and acting F.A.S.T. can lead patients to the stroke treatments they desperately need. The most effective stroke treatments are only available if the stroke is recognized and diagnosed within the first three hours of the first symptoms. Actually, many Americans are not aware that stroke patients may not be eligible for stroke treatments if they arrive at the hospital after the three-hour window.

If you think someone may be having a stroke, act F.A.S.T. and do this simple test:
F—FACE: Ask the person to smile. Does one side of the face droop?

A—ARMS: Ask the person to raise both arms. Does one arm drift downward?

S—SPEECH: Ask the person to repeat a simple phrase. Is their speech slurred or strange?

T—TIME: If you observe any of these signs, call 9-1-1 immediately.

For more information on heart health please visit http://www.mayoclinic.com and http://www.heart.org

Table For One

Posted on September 20, 2011 by NinjaInTheCity

Tonight while having dinner alone at The News Room I over heard a woman say to her husband “Oh that poor thing her date must have stood her up.” It took everything I had in me not to go over and whisper in her ear “I am eating alone on purpose.” I decided to play nice and went about my typing and current google chat. This is my normal dinner alone or actually doing most things on my own. My muppet like dog can’t go everywhere with me, thus I dine alone.

As I gazed across the restaurant I quickly noticed that I was the only one sitting alone. Tucked back into my usual corner. The staff they know me and my drink of choice by name. They call this corner AJ’s usual spot and act alarmed when it’s not available. Maybe one day I will share my little tucked away corner with someone. Today, I am fine with just myself and netbook. From here I watch first dates unravel, fights happen, and look at couples whose flame long ago extinguished. In truth I feel for each one of them. I know what its like to have the first date gitters, feeling the calm in a familiar smile, and looking into someone’s eyes and thinking “where did I go wrong?”

Those are all feelings in a relationship. In most the gitters melt into a familiar calm and from that calm a relationship blossoms. Blossoms are something I am short of these days. It seems that Google has done me in and turned most of the potential away. I often forget that when I am googled my twitter, Facebook, and this very blog appears. Have Bear Will Travel has become a weeder of sorts. Weeding out the ones who are too afraid to dance and keeping the hope alive in the ones who dare to look beyond the blog.

For the ones who dare to look beyond the blog realize that I am online as I am in real life. I hide nothing and am to honest for my own good. This is probably why I end up being friends with the men I date. In me they find comfort knowing ‘hey she’s been through a lot of shit and came out standing.” I am reminded that I cannot revel in the sun unless I walk through the crap. They go hand in hand.

Hand in hand is where I’d like to find myself one day. One can’t be a ninja without a trusty sidekick. Gumby had Pokie, Batman with Robin, and well the Ninja Turtles had each other. I’m not asking for a 10, a 9 or 8 will do just fine. Life isn’t about looks or what you have. It’s about living with passion and letting your heart burst wide open. It’s ok to feel nervous and to be hurt. These feelings of hurt and nerves remind us that we are human. They allow us to live without question and to feel for others. When you can relate to someone and understand their pain, then you my friend have truly lived.

These are the things I contemplate when I dine alone. Of what would I do when Mr Perfect is sitting across from me. Would he put up with my busy paralegal day job and crazy lobbyist night job. Would he have the same passion towards sustainable agriculture, the law, NINJAS, and the charities I advocate for. Would he lay with me on the floor of Trinity temple and bask in Frank Lloyd Wrights wonderous creation? Would he skip through the streets of Paris and marvel at the relics of egypt with me? Questions, I wonders, and what ifs swirl in my head as I take a sip of my wine. The only way I know of solving my quandaries is by chucking myself out there and looking for my 9 or 8, because well a 10 simply won’t do. 10’s are too full of themselves. I am not for the 10s, so bring on the 9s and 8s.

Mainly I just need a 9 or an 8 who understands that even thou I have gone through some tough shit it does not define my future. True I am a pulmonary embolism survivor and a young divorcee. For some reason DIVORCE is a turn off to men. I always say if you really knew about my marriage, you’d understand why I walked away. Just because I am a divorcee does not mean I am undatable. Hell I forget I have an ex husband half the time and even I find it weird uttering the worlds “Yea I am divorced.” Divorce happens we move on from it and get even on Tuesdays.

I am normal. Bags yea I’ve got a few and yup I am a ninja to my core. So maybe the next time you see a young woman sitting alone don’t assume she was stood up. Assume that she is dining alone by choice and writing an article that will change the world. Maybe one day she will have someone who understands her entire being sitting across from her and she will smile. For now she smiles as her friends and giggles out loud at her google chat dreaming of the what ifs. I like options and what ifs, they give me hope.

{Biloxi} Ninjas Take Heart

Posted on September 13, 2011 by NinjaInTheCity

Below is the speech that I recently gave at a gala that was held at Harra’s New Orleans.

How many of you know what a Ninja is? I am not talking about the ones that throw kicks and chops. However I am speaking about the one that lies with in your soul. You know that little voice that takes over when you feel you cannot go on? That my friends is your ninja…….your inner ninja. It will never steer you wrong, it may cause you to veer and that veer is exactly where you needed to be.

In life we veer all over the place. Each decision we make is either based on our own will or what society thinks we should be come. In truth each one of us controls our destiny. No one is going to make the tough choices for you. You and only you can make those decisions.

Decisions are simple. Yet difficult to make. An attorney once told me “it all comes down to a judgment call. who is going to call it first.” I heard those words on a Friday night and made the decision to walk away from my marriage on a Sunday. I didn’t need a separation period or therapy. I knew it was over and that was that. That one all be it huge decision brought me to you. You see if I were still married I’d be sitting at home raising the kids and dogs. I wouldn’t be here talking to you today. Folks, this brings me to my next point.

If I had never of made that decision to switch my birth control I probably would still be in Minnesota and not here. That one decision lead me down a path of silent danger. I had no clue that back in December of 2008 that my birth control was going to almost take my life in 2009. If I had stuck to the patch my stroke probably wouldn’t have happened and yet the ring it seemed so promising. So I switched. I made that decision to switch, I took control of my own destiny. Right then and there my course had been set. Little did I know it was going to be one hell of a blunder.

That blunder occurred on October 22nd, 2009. It was the day I chose to live and not be a victim. I followed the doctors orders to a T. I wanted my old life back, God I longed for it. That was a wasted wish. I know now almost two years later that my old life isn’t coming back. The day I had my stroke, I lost a part of my self. I lost my trust in doctors, in drug companies, but mainly my zest for life. I didn’t want the new life that laid before me. I wanted the old care free AmandaJean back. That is what I wanted. I didn’t get that. However what I got that day was a lot better than my old care free life. I got the chance to live! That was the day my inner Ninja took over and gave me the strength I needed to survive.

Did you know that only 2 out of 5 survive a pulmonary embolism? If you ask me those are not very good odds. Every day thousands of Americans are walking around unaware that they have a clot. Most never notice the blood clot until it’s too late. All to often I hear stories of young people dying as a result of a blood clot. That is when I realized I am one lucky woman. You see the blood clot was blocking the main valve to my heart and I was seconds away from death. Yet, here I am. An I am reminded each day that three people had to die so I could live. Live a life filled with meaning. So I made the decision to educate the world about heart health, blood clots, and stroke. My story is changing lives and is giving a voice to a deadly cause.

I owe it to those three people to share our story and to speak the words of awareness. Words that they heard when it was too late. Warning signs that would have possibly saved them. I made that decision and this folks is what brought me to Harra’s New Orleans. Just always remember this: “When you have a blood clot or think you may have one every Fucking second counts.” Blood Clots are no laughing matter and they will change your life forever.

My life has changed in more ways than I could have every dreamed of. I know more about low vitamin K diets, blood thinners, and heart healthy life styles than I do about Twilight. I’ll tell you a little secret. I talk in my sleep. As in have real conversations in my sleep. My friends like to ask me things and one of their favorite this is to say _________ is a vitamin K free food right? Apparently I shout back a yes or a no depending on the food type. So you see folks I could do this in my sleep and that is what I call passion.

Passion is what drives me and helps me get through the “why me and what if moments of life.” There are days where I want to drop the ball and just be a normal 28-year-old woman. That is something that will never be. In those moments a tiny voice says “You can do it. We’ve got this. Lets get up and go.” That voice is my inner ninja and when I listen to her my heart busts wide open. Wide open with passion and light that allows me to change the world.

Each of you have a ninja deep inside of you. In moments of doubt stay quiet, listen to that tiny voice, and let the ninja take over. Take over when you don’t think you can go on and make decisions that come from the heart. The best decisions are always based on the heart. The mind knows what it wants, however your heart always knows what you need.

You only have one heart in this life and without our hearts we are shells walking this earth. So please I urge you to take care of your heart and live a heart healthy life style. You owe it to yourself and to your families to take care of your hearts.

{Reflection} From a Bed That Isn’t Mine

Posted on September 10, 2011 by NinjaInTheCity

I am nestled into a bed that isn’t mine tonight and my dress, well I hope it shows up. If you had told me a year ago I’d be in Biloxi spreading the message of hope, strength, and compassion I would have just laughed. Here I am and I wouldn’t trade this weekend for the world.

Its amazing where our lives take us and how much our words matter. I have always been a firm believer in speaking the truth and using that truth to empower others. The truth and speaking it is part of who I am. Sharing my story and encouraging women has become part of my journey. I realize now that a lot of newly divorced women come here looking for support and to read my blunders. Theres been quite a few and I am lucky to be apart of their journey. The journey of finding themselves again.

Some may say I am a failure married at 25 and divorced at 28. I am not a failure. One knows when there is nothing left to fight for and when to walk away. It was easy to walk away from Scott, but it hurt like hell to walk away from his beautiful 6-year-old son Nylan. I love that kid and I always will. After all this blog is for Nylan. He will always be my first child (from another mother) and I am greatful that I got to be his mom for five beautiful years.

What got me through the hard times was faith. People tell me “I wish I had your faith. You just never seem concerned. How can you leave it up to chance?” Growing up my father always told me this “if all else fails….pray.” I figure God has kept me on this planet for a reason. Lord knows he’s tried to knock me of it more than once. I think I am working on my 3rd life or something along those lines. For me bouncing back is the best part. I’ve done a lot of looking back over the past year. My second stroke anniversary is just around the corner and so is unfortunately my 29th birthday.

Looking back has allowed me to examine my failed marriage. To really look at it from a different perspective. A year ago I was so hurt and bitter that I couldn’t look with clear eyes. However time does heal all wounds and allows you to remember. Remembering that the signs were written on the wall the entire time. Realizing that my x husband is mentally ill and that there was nothing I did wrong. I harbored anger that didn’t allow me to move forward. Anger not because he cheated on me with every woman on craigs list. Anger because he abandoned me when our son died. No one should have to walk through the death of a child alone. He has told me that is his one regret. Not being man enough to get on that plane and be with me.

In truth he was never man enough. Man enough to admit his wrongs and to right the course. Yes $5,000.00 bracelets, trips, and shopping sprees are nice. But they didn’t erase the pain that I felt when I found his email wide open. Open with lies and that the driver’s seat was moved in the Prius each morning. Here I thought he was playing world of warcraft all night long. Turns out Scott was warming someone elses bed and leaving me at home alone. People say “You had everything. You were such a great couple.” Never take something at face value. Peal the layers back and you would have seen a marriage that was broken before it even started.

On the day I found out my uterine cancer was in remission I sent the ex husband an email. Finding the strength within myself to forgive him. I no longer want to be apart of him and in order to break away I had to forgive. Forgiving my ex husband was the last piece to the equation of getting myself back.

Forgiving him allowed me to be at peace with everything. I do not regret that my marriage happened and wouldn’t trade the years with Nylan. Just it wasn’t meant to be. We live, learn a little, and then we get even on Tuesdays.

Learning is what I am doing now. Putting one foot in front of the other and standing on my own. Somedays it lonely, frustrating when I can’t reach something up high, and I miss those moments in the sun. Being in a relationship is an amazing experience. It’s even better when you are with someone who totally gets you. I can say I have been in love 3 times in my life. One I divorced, One moved on, and the other took his life last summer. Not many people can say they have found love even once. I am counting myself lucky. With each relationship I have discovered new parts of myself and because of them I am on hell of a woman.

Those three men made me the woman I am today. I am greatful for the time I got with them. Because without the boys and their love, my heart would never have burst wide open. An we all know that when you believe deeply your heart is set on fire with hope. Then and only then will it burst wide open and create such a light that it will empower you to change the world.

{Paralegal} Putting Long Hours Into Perspective

Posted on September 3, 2011 by NinjaInTheCity

A few weeks ago I claimed that the blog or more so the blogger was going on vacation for a while. Well don’t hold your breath folks, I’m back. Well posts will be sporadic for a while. Life is still busy and I am currently getting over the fail whale virus.

For the past month most of you know that I have been putting crazy hours and long weekends in at the firm. Just know that these hours and weekends are not forced upon me. I choose to put in the time and give up my weekends. Why? You might ask. The truth is I am apart of something that is going to change hundreds if not thousands of lives. It will right the wrongs of the past and hopefully lay the seeds for a successful future. Trust me the attorneys I work with put in even crazier hours than I do. I am convinced that a few of them do not sleep. We have our moments, but at the end of the day our goal is to seek justice for those who need it most.

When you are apart of something that is going to help someone and make their life better. You willingly throw your weekends to the side and have no problem sitting in the office until 11pm. This is what I signed up for the day I became a paralegal and moments like these are what I live for. I am a firm believer that it only takes one ripple in the water to create a wave of change. Change is coming and I am proud to be a small ripple in that wave.

I wish a lot of you could truly understand what it means to be a paralegal and get a glimpse into my sometimes chaotic world. There are days where I am a motivator, moving everyone along so we can reach a deadline. Then there are days where I sit idle at my desk waiting for the next Fail Whale to arrive and spring into action with a plan to solve it.

Solving things are easier said than done. Most times I have multiple solutions only to have them shot down and then its back to the drawing board. I always have a plan B, followed by a plan C, and then a Plan D. Usually one of those plans works and in the end it’s all fine and dandy.

Law firms are their own little world. Each one is different. You have seasoned paralegals mixed with the newbies. Sometimes the seasoned pros have to teach the newbies the ropes. I believe in professionalism, you are only as good as your work and your reputation in this field. An I take both very seriously and will fight to keep them in check.

Maybe I am to much of a Mama bear when it comes to my reputation and that of the attorneys I work for. Out of respect I will protect theirs (No matter how yucky they are) as well as mine. We work hard to build up our careers and I’ll be damned if I let a newbie squash my work. I have built my reputation by putting in long hours, stepping up, and throwing away weekends for the sake of a project. My work product is a testament to my determination and desire to help others. An that is something I will never veer from, when we help others we reach our potential as human beings.

So take it from this paralegal who works long hours for the sake of changing another persons life. It is worth it and I absolutely love my job. I live for the long hours, that sixth cup of coffee, late night emergency phone call, and the knowledge that in the end justice always prevails.

{Blogcation} Taking A Break From The Blogging World

Posted on August 25, 2011 by NinjaInTheCity

After much thought. It is difficult for me to announce that HaveBearWillTravel.com is going on a little vacation. Life is busy. As in I barely see the muppet busy. Yet a good type of busy that makes your heart sing because you know deep down you are making the world better.

That is my whole goal in life. To make this world a little better than when I found it. Our goal as humans should be to better mankind not destroy it. When we change one small thing, complete one-act of kindness, that is when we reach our potential. I need to concentrate on teaching amazing people like yourselves how to be the best lobbying ninjas they can be and continue to be one kick ass paralegal at the firm. Those are my priorities right now. I guess one knows they are grown when they choose real life over online life.

Thank you so much for reading about my life and for supporting me on this adventure. I realized in the past year or so that my words can change lives. Yes, I have lived through some tough shit and because of you I blogged about it. With each tap of the key board my heart slowly began to heal. My heart is full again and I am ready to take on the world. I have met some amazing people and made some new Ninja BFFS. I am always reminded that life changes without a moments notice. What it comes down to is: “What you do in that moment that sets the path for the rest of your life?”

Do you sit down and take it or do you rise up and show the world who is boss. My stroke gave me the strength to deal with losing a child and the strength I needed to walk away from a loveless marriage. To date my x husband will tell you: ” I let the best thing to ever happen to me walk out that door. She is one hell of a woman and an awesome mom. She stepped up, threw her dreams away, and became the mom she didn’t have to be to my son. “Who ever she ends up with is one hell of a lucky man.” Aww thanks x husband. I wish I could hate him. Yet, I do feel a tad bit sorry for the guy. After all his whole world crashed one sunny day in June. I finally found it with in myself to forgive him. As in forgive him for what he did and for not being there when I needed him most. That was the final piece, the piece I needed to complete in order to get me back. Once again my heart is whole and maybe one of these days I will remember to actually go on the dates I plan. For me it was easier to stand up and show the world who was boss. I am the boss of my life and no one can ever knock me down.

So just know ninjas. I am alive and well. I am knocking down doors and writing down names without question. Before you know it the blogcation will be over and I will be back with new adventures to share. Fingers crossed that my plan for a personal life works. I need one of those or at least people tell me I need a personal life. We’ll see.

Love you bunches!

-AmandaJean

{Revelation} Your Destination Is On Your Right

Posted on August 19, 2011 by NinjaInTheCity

I snuggled into a bed that wasn’t mine. Time Square was a blaze outside my window and I had realized something. I realized that I am exactly where I should be in life. I didn’t get what I wanted. I got what I needed.

For the past 5 years I dwelled on the fact that I had not gone to law school. That I had thrown away a dream for my ex husband and his child. I do not regret that decision. At the time it was for the best. Because my five years with Nylan will define him for the rest of his life. Nylan is a ninja and a ninja knows the course. A ninja knows to look for meaning in the hard times and to never lose faith.

Faith is something that runs deep and is never in short supply. Everything that happened over the past five years has led to this exact moment. This here and now is where I am supposed to be. My blood clot was a lesson. A lesson in survival. At the time I thought it was a cruel joke. Turns out the joke was on me. That blood clot was my voice and the fuel to my passion. I am a lobbyist. A real live lobbyist and I wouldn’t trade it for the world.

For now I am turning away from law school and following the course to becoming the best lobbyist I can be. I still get to work with the law and help people. As in really help people by meeting with politicians and sharing my passion for the common good. Walking through the capital sends chills to my soul, this is the place where history is made and I, I am a part of that history.

History is something I want to change. Our voices can lead to change and history books will be rewritten. If we stand up for ourselves and fight for what we believe in then we have reached our potential. Don’t wait for a life changing moment to find your voice. Dig deep and find your primal growl. That voice will carry you and you will be forever changed.

I am forever changed. One moment in my life defined me and that moment has brought me to my destination. A destination I am proud to call home.

The Best NINJAS Hang Out With God {Remembering Adam Lavasseur}

Posted on August 11, 2011 by NinjaInTheCity

Life is a journey worth taking and a dream worth dreaming. One thing I know is that today is for sure and tomorrow is uncertain. None of us know when our name with be called in heaven and when our last moment will be.

Early this morning I got word that I lost a very dear college friend. A man who was literally bigger than life. Someone so pure and kind he set your heart on fire. From the moment I met him a friendship was born and as they say the rest was history.

Adam lived three doors down from me in Ross Hall on the UW-Superior campus. We would sit in the hallway late at night just talking about life and dreaming of our futures. I could hear him cheering loudly from his room on nights the Packers were winning and even louder on the nights that the Vikings were loosing. He would walk with me to class and poke fun at my “old lady parka.” Adam was truly a gift. I am a better person because of Adam and I am thankful to call him my friend.

Part of me is angry with God. I must ask “What makes me different? You saved me, so why didn’t you step in and save Adam?” Maybe this is something I’ll never really understand. People well medical professionals tell me I should be dead and its a mystery on how I survived a massive pulmonary embolism. Losing Adam makes me realize how special life is and that it truly is a gift. We do not have control over our demise. We only have control over what we do with the time we have.

Time is something we have a lot of. Yet, we let that time run through our fingers. Putting off I love you, dates with friends, and for what? That what is work, work always gets in the way of our time. Yet work is something we need to sustain us and keep us a float. Its been a while since I’ve spent time with Adam and I’d give anything to have more time with him. Time, is something we can never get back, no matter how hard we try. We never get a do over. So use your time wisely and spread as much love as you can. Because in the end love is all that matters.

What matters now is that we look deep within our selves and honor Adam. Honor him by extending a smile to a stranger, a hug to a child, and sharing laughter with friends. Adam would want that. This I am sure of. He had so much love in his heart that is was bursting wide open. Adam never cut anyone down, he always saw the good in us and remind us to find the good in others.

My hope is that all of you have an Adam in your lives. Let that person know how much they mean to you and tell them. Because you never know when their last day on earth will be. I have to believe that the best ninjas get to hang out with God. Adam, you my friend were one hell of a Ninja. I will treasure our friendship and miss you deeply. Rest my friend rest on the clouds of heaven.